it's just how i see things: cheek water

these are some old photos... i think about a year old. one of the benefits of having a non-working camera is that, instead of spending time taking and editing new photos, you can use that time to go back into ancient folders that were long forgotten and look for old gems to post. better late than never.

i barely edited these shots... because, honestly, i didn't really want to change the mood. i thought they were perfect, just as they are. i mean, i realize they aren't perfect... not like the perfection that some photographers put out there because they wouldn't dare share their imperfect work. first of all, if i'm gonna be real, i have to admit i'm sort of tired of "perfect" photography {if that's something that actually exists}. but secondly, i enjoy looking at in-the-moment photos much more than i do the perfectly staged ones. i guess created moments in staged photos have their place. but i just get bored with looking at them after a while. not only that, but i think trying to create them is exhausting, as well. so my personal goal as a photographer {when i have working equipment again} is to never slip into a trap of feeling like i have to create a moment. i only want to find moments... and then, click away.

the moment captured above was one of my favorites. isaac had just learned how to climb onto our very tall bed. he loved {and was fascinated by} cell phones at the time. i had been in the bedroom taking pictures of the recent makeover i gave it {in our old house}. mr. b was chillin' on the bed, enjoying a rare moment of uncharacteristic neatness in that room... one in which the bed was actually made for a change.

when i saw how much fun they were having, i had to turn my attention toward them. makeover photos could wait. i've seen a lot of dads who are such good buds with their kids... especially with sons. but i don't know if i've ever seen a father-and-son buddy-ship quite like the one my husband and son have. likely, this is only because i'm close enough to them to see their relationship on a level that i wouldn't be able to closely witness in other families. so i'm fairly certain that there are many similar bonds elsewhere. but i still like to think that they are among the closest of father-son duos i've ever known.

last night, isaac and i had to say goodbye to the mister, as we drove him to the train station where he would board a chicago-bound train to meet his brother so they could leave on an early flight this morning. their mom is at home in florida, recovering from open-heart surgery, so they both took a couple days off and hopped a plane to see her.

we sat at the kitchen table over dinner last night, and the downer mood that had been building up in me all day {at the thought of his looming departure} finally morphed into tears that first welled up in my eyes and eventually leaked out down my face. what got me was when isaac went to sit in his dad's lap after he finished eating. i was glad he did so, because that's something he rarely does while we're still all at the table. being that we had to leave for the station right from dinner, it gladdened me to see them spend some quality time together before mr. b had to leave.

it made me happy and sad, all at the same time. as we sat there enjoying our last few minutes at home together, i caught isaac's attention when he noticed the tears trickling down my face.

he quizically looked at me for a bit and then finally spoke with a soft voice, describing {in the only way he knew how} what he saw.

"cheek...water," he said as he pointed at my tears.

oh, how precious. sweet that he noticed. sweet that he said it that way. sweet that it made me smile.

i'll never call tears tears again. from here on out, they've been dubbed cheek water. {isaac coined it. i dubbed it.} it's adorable. how could i go back to plain old tears ever again? cheek water sounds like the name of the chief's daughter in some native american tribe, doesn't it?

though it was not his intention, it brought the biggest smile to my face, and i soon forgot how much i was going to miss mr. b or how much i knew our little man was going to miss him, too.

i've been quite weepy lately. lots of things going on... lots of disappointments and such, as well as other contributing factors. the weepiness is sort of uncharacteristic of my lately-usual self. {i used to be quite a crier back before i had isaac. but since he's been in my life, i cry so much less... perhaps because isaac is depleting the cheek-water vat for us all, and there's not much left to go around?? but there seems to be plenty for me lately.}

anyway, i was having a tough time with mr. b leaving... more than i thought i would. the small amount of difficulty i had with it gave me a glimpse into what it's like for military wives who are separated from their husbands for such long periods of time. gosh, i feel for them. if a mere three days could have that much of an effect on me, i can't imagine how they get through those months on end of having their spouses gone. i'm guessing that does not make me good military wife material. i'd be a mess!

well... all that to say, at the end of the day, i'm very glad my husband went to see his mom. we wish we could have joined them, too. but at least he was able to go... thanks to his generous brother who bought his plane ticket. when his brother approached him with the offer, i strongly encouraged him to go, even though i know how torn he was. he really wants to be near his mom at this time, but i could see it was kind of getting to him to have to leave us, too.

after we dropped him off at the train, isaac cried out for a good while and said through his ~~tears~~ cheek water, "dada, come back." {it broke my heart.} but almost immediately after that, he said, "choo-choo train, come back." that was when i knew he was gonna be okay. and then we were off to treat ourselves to frozen yogurt, because we both deserved it. at least that's what we told each other, and we're stickin' to it!

the good news is, in just a day and a half, mr. b will be back, and we'll hardly remember he was ever gone.

some other never-before-seen photos i unearthed these past couple days are these next few... taken during a summer visit from mr. b's parents last year. since we're missing them so much and are sending wishes of a speedy recovery my mother-in-law's way, i thought i'd include them today. i don't think it's difficult to see just how much isaac loves his grandma, nor how much she loves him right back.