1.19.2009

transparency


in the last few days, i have come to feel that perhaps i am a little too transparent in my blogs. i have always been a transparent sort of person—one of those people who wears her emotions on her sleeve. if i am excited and full of joy on the inside, it is apparent to those around me. if i am contemplative, people sense it. if i am not feeling well, it is written all over my demeanor. if i am sad or angry, people will say, "what's wrong?" or steer clear of me—depending on their personality. if i am just sort of neutral—no one emotion dominating my mood—then no one notices anything except maybe my physical attributes.

so, it is no surprise to me that i feel free to be transparent on my blogs—to let my emotions show, or even personal things about me. some would probably say this is wrong or dangerous. others might say, "go right ahead. what can it hurt?" i want to be able to show at least some of me, because i know that some people might draw inspiration or identify with something i say. but i also don't want anyone to use what i say and turn it around against me. so i have to be careful. and mostly, i just think that there are some things that should stay secretive and hidden. things i might tell only a very good friend. to be tactful, they should be left unsaid—at least publicly.

i'm not an extremely private person as i know some are. i don't mind sharing bits and pieces of my life with people, especially those i trust. i like to find ways to identify with people, and if i am never willing to share about myself, i think i can not gain as much from another. i think it is a two-way street.

i'm still learning that balance when it comes to the whole blogging thing. i like to be able to be transparent and let people see at least a little more than what meets the eye. it would get pretty boring after a while if we only ever looked at each other's exterior shells. but i would also like to learn discernment about what to say and what not to say.

what about you? what are your thoughts—especially those of you who also have blogs? is this something you grapple with too? if so, what have you realized or decided?

16 comments:

Rochelle said...

Wow, I have been considering the exact same thing these past few days. I've run up against some unexpected obstacles that have made me reconsider being quite so open. And yet... now after getting so used to it, it's hard to shut that door and lock it up inside all over again. I thought I'd found a good outlet for my grief, sorrow, joy, tears, thrills, and finding new friends. But now... I'm not sure. I don't know what to do. I have not come to a full conclusion yet. It's an interesting predicament.

Just know that I'm with you, and would love to chat with you about it sometime.

Be blessed sweetie, trust in God's sovereignty, follow his leading, and believe that no matter what's going on behind the scenes... you've already made a difference for Christ.

Love you! Let's get together one of these days. :)

margie said...

georgia we started out being very careful, not exposing ourselves, not letting the real sisters out in the open. protecting both our privacy and perhaps a little bit of insecurity as to how much people really wanted to know about us. meanwhile, blogging is for us. everyone else...just like coming over for a visit in our own homes, you get the good and the bad.

Char said...

I understand what you're saying and it is difficult to find balance in this ether. But, as in the blog the other day - sometimes it is wonderful and even helpful to find something in common. That is what makes your blog so effective - that you do share your life with us. It helps me connect.

I do hesitate sometimes in telling everyone how my unemployment is effecting me because I don't want to depress everyone. But, I want to be real.

So I will use a song lyric to answer, the good, the bad, the happy and the sad - I want it all.

spread your wings said...

I don't feel I have a good balance with my blog. I am not a good writer and have a hard time of expressing myself, so I guess for this reason I wanted our blog to stay simple. I feel there's a definite art to blogging and I feel sure I don't have it but I keep trying. Personally, I really like to read other blogs like yours that express real feeling and emotions - some days filled with joy and others that are more reflective - I appreciate the ones who can share all of this with such elegance as you do.

Elisabeth said...

In my blog at blogspot I write about my experiensces etc, and not so much my personal feelings. I have a different blog for that, one that none of my friends and relatives know about. There I feel more free to express my true inner self... I am not a very closed person, but there are things I would like to keep to myself

ELK said...

well that is a good question...random thoughts OK?
~~i am not a writer so my blog is more images which is how it started and how it will remain.
~~if I was struggling emotionally (as we ALL do at times!!) I would mention it on my blog because prayers and support are what this world is about
~~i do mind reading others ups and downs and really feel motivated to help if just a couple of words

Georgia I love your space and your posts are amazing ~so glad I found you dear!ELK

ps come look at my birdies and tell me what you think?!

Claire said...

i can relate fully. we are so similar in this sense.

i started the blog with the purpose of being transparent and i have tried to be that at all times.although i have disguised my realness so that only those to whom it applies are able to sense the connection.

i prayed before i started blogging and i asked God that my blogs would be a testament to Him. i long more than anything to be a blessing to those around me.

i have come to learn that you can only truly reach people by being transparent. if they choose to hurt me, then God will carry me but my witness is less effective when i wear masks.

Ms Unreliable said...

My blogging mentality has rapidly changed from being impersonal and external, to wanting to share much more of myself, as well as my inspirations. It's tricky to find the balance...I'm still far from finding mine, but at least we can struggle along together :)

Jamie said...

I know one blogger in particular that has a "front door" blog for the average blogger and then she has a second one for all the "back door" blogging. The "back door" blog warns exactly what it's about and the author feels free to be more open, a little deeper, sometimes darker...and she's not afraid to swear when moved to.

I guess my point is that your blog can be whatever you want it to be and readers that like what you write will come...and stay.

Only you know what's too much to share. Only you know when what you say will effect your "real" world for good or bad.

I like your blog - just the way it is. When you're happy it shows and when you're sad I want to cheer you up!

Cabbage Babble said...

Perhaps it is something in the air - you mention it - then all the comments reflect that others too have been wondering about this issue.

I spoke with my husband about it last night, how I use to have a blog some time ago and write ad nauseaum about my emotions, and how now, I only use pictures and barely write a word. I miss the expression of the former attitude, but I think I've also changed.

You should just do as you please, Mz Georgia. You're a wonderful writer and photographer and I enjoy your site.

Chris said...

I often wonder the same thing, especially in reference to what Char said. My blog is like a diary of my life, which is just as up and down as anyone's. So how much do I share? Do you limit the "bad" stuff you share with your readers so you don't alienate people? Do you go into detail about things like a bad job, so people can empathize with you, or should you worry about your gripes being seen by the wrong people?

For me, my blog is a way to share a bit of myself and get feedback from others, to be inspired (and maybe inspire others), to share good news and bad, to make people laugh, to share my photography and other creative endeavours...the list goes on and on. I don't know, I guess you have to walk that line as determined by your feelings and your needs, and be careful. Most of all, blogging should be fulfilling, and if you're not happy about it for some reason, it's worth a closer look, as Georgia is doing.

Beth said...

I feel the same way about my blog...for the most part, my readers only know the good and happy about me and my life...I think I could be a little more open with personal things except for the fact that all, and I mean all, of my family everywhere, read what I write...and I love that they do....but it prevents me from writing everything I would if it was just my blogging friends.

I've thought about having 2 blogs, but I'm not sure I could manage both of them....

ps....love your blog !

kat said...

I think every single blogger (or person with any type of internet profile) wonders at some point about how much information to put "out there". I think the answer is as personal as each individual. Whatever makes you happy. I'm reasonably private so my blog reflects my interests as opposed to my daily life. But I so enjoy this community and glimpses of real people and what they/you have to share.

Dianna said...

same here. i tend to lean more towards keeping things private than putting it all out there. but, it is a balance and blogs are a way of expressing ones self, which is a very personal thing. it's definitely a balance and one i have not mastered.

Oliag said...

I'm a terrible writer and I'm an introvert so I will probably always keep my blog very simple,based on photographs and some memories...that being said I do enjoy reading other's introspections and would encourage you to continue if you are comfortable with sharing these thoughts...:)

Bruce said...

I had such good intentions at the start of the year to keep up with reading and posting blogs - but at the moments you experience the most, it seems you have the least time or opportunity to blog them.
While phasing out like that I did consider stopping altogether - you see, you don't have time, why do this. Well now I know again. Not only have you posted special photographs, but you have also touched on something subtle and real that touches on something many of us recognize. And whether good or bad - it is the quality of real life and the specificity of the thoughts that bring some kind of joy to the reader.
I am also looking for the right balance. In my blog I try to keep out any concrete references so that I could too easily be identified. I tend to think that this would not be convenient for my working life. On the other hand I find maintaining a certain anonymity quite annoying. It's like wearing a raincoat on the beach.
Anyway: stay real, perhaps with some abstraction.