away

you can't run from trials. from heartache. from pain. from the tall and heavy things you face. i've been trying to all my life. this is how i know it doesn't work. these things will evenutally follow you. you have to face them. you have to deal with them. i know that. i'm feeling surrounded by them right now.

but what you can do is escape for a little while—retreat to breathe, collect, regroup, think, reflect and pray. all good things to gather up strength for a return to face your giants.

although i am going to florida to see my husband's family, i am also going to use this trip for all these things. every time i go, i'm in that place of wanting to run away from trouble or pain. and every time i go, i sit here in this spot {in the photo}. i stop. i let the water and the waves wash over me. i let the sounds and smells seep in. i wait. it is the best solitude i have ever known—walking for hours along the beach. i am so grateful to be going again. it could not come at a better time.

i know when i return, i will still be out of a job. i will still be without children. i will still have much to accomplish. i will still have the same amount of money in my bank account, the same simple education i've been given, the same piles of bills and laundry sitting in my house. the same cares and the same past. the same resources. the same gifts and talents.

but i am anticipating something on this trip. i really don't know what. i just feel it. i can actually sense that something significant will happen while i'm there. it may be a small change in my heart or a great realization about my life. whatever it is, i await it with eagerness.

i have never been able to go on a trip and bring the bare minimum. i always bring far too many things. this time, i am bringing a few changes of clothing and my new camera. not even music. perhaps a book. i am going to learn the art of simplicity. i am going to let myself be free of things. i'm tired of things. coming from a packrat like me, this is strange.

but i'm ready for a change.

i think a lot of people are. i know there are people all around me going through difficult things. in this fast-paced world we live in, i pray that whether you are able take a trip or not, you may know a simple and recharging escape like this. whether alone or with family or friends, make time for this.

i'm leaving tomorrow for five days. i look forward to my return and catching up with you all, for you all mean very much to me.