on friends

last night, i dreamed that i won the lottery...
then everyone wanted to be my friend

and then with the dawn of morning
came the dawn of realization
that it was all just a dream

and then i thought of the friends i do have
and i realized,
i
have
won
the
lotto.

{a little cheesy, i know... or so the hubby said.
but it gets the point across,
and that is all i am concerned with.
i can be cheesy hoaky every now and then.}

some days i'm overwhelmed with gratitude about the friends i've been blessed with. so many over the years. so many right now. from many sources and many walks of life. my best friend who i celebrated with today and who sacrificed her valuable time for me last night. new friends. old friends. rekindled friendships. very close friends who know the most hidden parts of my life. some less intimate friends, but still great friends none the less. family of friends who turn into friends too. those who started out my friend and became that and more. those who started as something else {a counselor or the barista who makes my tea or fellow sidewalk-sitting patrons at the same coffee shop where i met the barista or shop owners or friends of friends } but then became a friend as well. friends that help me. friends that allow me to help them. young friends who are just starting out in life. white-haired friends who have many years on me and loads of wisdom to share. friends i've not spoken to in many years, but i know if i called them up or wrote to them, we would pick up right where we left off with out hesitation {it happened just recently }. friends who sit with me and tell me it will all be okay. friends who write to me when we can't exchange words in person. friends i've never met that send me $10 gift cards to starbucks and say, "have a tea or two on me and enjoy!" friends who write and say, "haven't seen you post on your blog in a while... hope all is okay." friends who became friends before i ever met them, and once that meeting occurred, it was confirmed. {it happened today at my best friends bridal shower.} friends who help me even when they don't know they are doing so. friends who tell me how i've helped them... making me feel appreciated and needed. friends who include me in their lives... sometimes to my great surprise, because they are already so blessed and make me wonder why they would need or want one more friend in me. friends for just a day. friends for a lifetime. people who perhaps might not even know {although some do } just how much their kindness and love and friendship play an enormous part in why i can sit here today and write out these thoughts. i'm so blessed.

i've been thinking {and reading } a lot about friendship lately. one of my favorite places to read about friendship is in the book, the four loves, where c.s. lewis writes about friendship as one of the four main kinds of love. indeed, it is love.

so i will quote one of my favorite parts from that book. but first... i just want to say to all my blog friends and readers. i've been away for a bit, if you haven't already noticed. i did not set out to take a break, which is strange, because every other time i have taken a break, i did so intentionally, and stated my intent before doing so. and also with those breaks was the inability to stay away from my blog for too long, because i probably was not truly in a place where i needed to be away long-term.

but this was not planned. i can only say, i've just not found the desire or words to post like i usually do... in fact, just getting online at all has become something i'm finding i want to do less these days. not that i don't have things to say. i have so very many things to say! but i am not sure how to express them lately. so much of what is in my mind remains there. that said, i miss the interaction in blog land, and i hope to be back sooner than later. i hope all is well with you all.

so now for lewis' words...

"in a circle of true friends each man is simply what he is: stands for nothing but himself. no one cares twopence about any one else's family, profession, class, income, race, or previous history. ...that is the kingliness of friendship. we meet like sovereign princes of independent states, abroad, on neutral ground, freed from our contexts. this love {essentially } ignores not only our physical bodies but that whole embodiment which consists of our family, job, past and connections...

hence {if you will not misunderstand me } the exquisite arbitrariness and irresponsibility of this love. i have no duty to be anyone's friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. no claims, no shadow of necessity. friendship is unnecessary, like philosphy, like art, like the universe itself {for God did not need to create }. it has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."

...all words that perfectly shed light on one of the biggest reasons i love the blogosphere and the friends i've made here.

just popping in to say hello and thank you, friends.