a year later...

almost exactly a year ago to the day, i did a post called

{a different self-portrait} i am

i was reminded of it yesterday when a newly added flickr contact saw my self-portraits set and commented on one of them.

since so much has changed in one year, i decided i would repost that post, but cross out the things that have changed and add in a few things that are new {in purple}. a year ago, i held little hope that i would ever be a mom or that this is where life would take me... where God would have me. i remember getting home from running errands one day, and before i went up to our second-story house apartment, i thought i might take some self-portrait photos {using the hood of my car as a tripod} to remember exactly how i looked and who i was at that time in my life. now i'm kind of glad i did it. it's sort of chilling to look back and see how much has changed... how much God can do in a life i thought was destined to be one way, but never another.

so below, is my re-post of {a different self-portrait} i am.

i am...

not afraid.

thirty-eightnine.

a woman who still feels like a little girl.

longing to be a mother. a mama-to-be.

a friend.

a sister.

a daughter.

a wife.

a lover.

a christian.

a romantic.

a dreamer.

a crier.

an artist.

a twin.

the best three-legged race partner my twin will ever know.

in love with love.

a singer.

creative.

passionate.

imperfect.

a perfectionist.

type b personality {according to those test thingies}.

optimistic.

pessimistic.

weak.

strong. working on being stronger.

silly a lot.

always cold.

a big fan of the beach.

a sun-lover.

an amateur.

immature.

holding on.

nostalgic.

a tea-drinker.

a night person.

wanting to be a morning person.

smart enough to get by.

a craver of learning.

a bird-lover.

a procrastinator.

not the best communicator.

a former television watcher.

a fan of m*a*s*h, monk and house.

a pack rat who craves simplicity. much more simple {i had a garage sale}.

a dark chocolate person.

very content after a good nap.

a collector.

changing.

a graphic designer.

very critical of myself.

a film buff.

soft-spoken.

green-eyed.

much different-looking than even just five years one year ago. {eh-hem... think belly! i'm now to the point where i can no longer see my feet!}

a believer in the "eat right for your blood type" theory.

full of regrets.

a college graduate.

a contradiction to myself in so many ways.

a starter.

not a finisher.

a wishful thinker.

a runner.

most at peace in autumn.

one who suffers from seasonal affective disorder.

a lover of good design.

good with spacial problems.

not who i thought i was.

told often that i am gentle.

an impatient driver.

not a book reader, but wishing i was.

one who thinks believes music is the greatest thing in life.
not many of the things i used to be.

one of the things i thought i'd never be.

so many things that i have not been before.

a bit of a germ-a-phobe
{but not obsessive enough about it to keep an immaculate house}.
wanting to keep an immaculate house for baby.

one who hates noise.

constantly changing my favorite color.

sensitive.

broken-hearted.

mended.

forgiven.

forgiving.

looking for purpose. {i think i found it!}

far too emotional for my own good.

an obvious donner of those emotions.

detail-oriented.

a photography-lover.

a production artist by day. unemployed.

an amateur writer and photographer by night.

a connector.

one who loves touch.

not entrepreneurial.

a former shop-a-holic.

the kind of person who can live anywhere.

known to have a lead foot.

notorious for leaving long rambling messages.

loved.

wanted.

a taker-inner... or a sponge, so to speak.

waiting for spring.

always looking for a photo.

sometimes sad.

often happy.

a fan of breakfast.

not a breakfast eater.

not too old to wear pig tails.

a big fan of sushi. {temporarily on hold}

close to being debt-free.

not one who owns a scale.

finding it more difficult to remember things. {especially now!!... pregnancy brain}

waiting for the day when i can wear glasses.

fearfully and wonderfully made.

a believer.

aware that i lack certain social skills.

spontaneous.

forever missing my father.

a bit of a worrier, but less than i used to be.

acrophobic.

tired of my bad habits.

a jack of all trades, master of none.

still deciding what i want to be when i grow up.

drawn to funny people.

hooked on ice cream and french fries. {especially now!!}

a dancer. {not really, but i'd like to think so.}

waiting for something.

aware i have so much to learn.

not a technology geek.

more right-brained than left.

figuring things out.

the most organized and unorganized person i know.

lacking discipline in many areas.

hoping to age gracefully.

often wishing i could go back.

one who needs affirmation.

tired too often. {especially now!!}

accepting of others.

critical of others, too.

not who i thought i would be by now.

resilient.

letting go.

praying small, quiet prayers.

not eloquent in speech.

not poised.

delicate.

decisive.

passive.

beginning to show my age most in my hands.

never compared to a celebrity like my friends are.

complicated.

{duh... i'm a female.}

waiting for some miracles. {minus one}

done with this list.

{even though there's so much more...}



the rest of the self-portraits i took that day are here.