remembering papa

today is a hard one for me.
this is my father's birthday.
i miss him terribly, even though it's been
almost three years since we lost him.

i have not cried yet,
but then i have not poured
over all my pictures of him yet, either.
once i do, i think the tears will come.

but that is a good thing.
they are always tears of sadness
mixed with tears of great joy.

joy that i have such good memories
of this first man in my life.
i think the world of my dad.
more and more with time.

i miss him very much,
but i treasure him even more.
so although today is difficult,
i love this day too.

i posted pics of my dad here
if you would like to see them.


beth said...

oh sweetie...hugs to you today on this difficult day as you fill yourself with love filled memories...

Claire said...

i bleed and cry and reminisce and think back with adoration alongside you.

my prayers are yours today my g.

Lisa said...

awwww. i wish you comfort on this very very special day. i wish there was something more i could say...and i have never lost a parent...

...but i've lost two very, very special grandparents 15 and 10 years ago. i used to think i wanted it to stop hurting, and then i realized that it never would, and then most importantly, i realized that i didn't ever WANT it to stop hurting. the hurt has become bittersweet, a sadness that is tinged with happy memories and that i have learned to live with...but that sadness is so essential to who i am, because it reminds me that they were and are and always will be a part of me.

...anyway, not sure if that helps at all. but enjoy your sweet, quiet day of reminiscing and looking through old photographs.


Sandy K. said...

I absolutely love the tribute to your dad, both here and on your other site. The photos made me chuckle, as they look like my old photos. The one on the beach reminds me of my first husband...but that's another story. Also, I have some of those "come hither" albums as well!

I lost my own dad in 2000, and still get sad periodically. I can remember that sadness catching me by surprise those first few years, and now it's just "there," like a comfortable old glove. I love wearing my dad - and you will also find that peace.

Bask in the warmth of your memories, and his love, today and always.

Anonymous said...

i know what it is like to lose a loved one. hugs to you.

apriliniowa said...

Those are very special photographs, Georgia. Hugs coming your way. He seemed like a wonderful man. You're very lucky. I'm sure he's a big part of how you turned out to be so lovely and loving of the world. :)

georgia b. said...

thanks, kamana. i so wish i could reply via your blog. :(

{picture me shaking my fist at blogger or my computer—whichever one is at fault for not allowing me to comment on certain blogs.}

Chris said...

I'm sorry we couldn't be together on such an important day for you. I didn't realize his birthday was today. I hope today is a day of many, many happy memories for you :)

georgia b. said...

me, too chris. but we'll have just as much fun next wednesday. thanks for your kind thoughts.

that goes for everyone—thank you.

Jamie said...

I'm sorry you're having a tough day. If I could, I'd give you a big hug and make you a cup of tea. This picture you chose for today is really beautiful. I especially love the clouds.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you are sad. But remember he is with you in your heart always.
I remember how proud he looked waling you down the aisle on your wedding day.
Sweetie, Cheer up. Sending lots of hugs your way.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx :)

Kristin said...

I'm so sorry. I hope today can be peace filled for you!

alissa said...

'i know how you feel' is the worst phrase on the planet - because there is no one that knows exactly what its been like or what you've been through.
know that my thoughts are with you :)

when you have a minute would you email me? gracesbcw at hotmail dot com
i cant find your email darnit.

spread your wings said...

i wish for you comfort and peace today as you remember your daddy on this special day.

such a beautiful photo you have posted.

My Morning Walk said...

((((((((hugs to you))))))))))
That collection of photos you posted are really really wonderful. Old photographs...I love the beautiful faded out look and emotion of them. Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Georgia. My dad is gone, too. They're always our dads and we're always their little girls. It sounds as though you had a special relationship with him.

~Hurricane B~ said...

I know the day has come and passed for you, but I just read this now.

I am glad that you allowed yourself to go through those bittersweet feelings. It will never go away and think it is a blessing that you have so many good memories and can cherish him and honor him with posts like these.

NoExpertsNeeded said...

I'm glad I landed on your post. Your words touch all who have lost their Dad.

My Dad passed 14 years ago. Some days it feels like yesterday. Other days, I say 'Wow, sorry Daddy; I haven't thought of you in a while.' (He understands.)

I was very fortunate to have had the 'death bed' conversation with Daddy (unknowingly) just a few months before his passing. We healed decades of old wounds with only a few words.

I now serve as a poster child urging everyone to have "that" conversation with their loved ones NOW...before it's too late. You don't want to be left behind with regret or guilt.

So, keep talking to your Dad..He's always with you.

As my way of 'giving back'...and honoring Daddy...let me send you a copy of the amazing story of his passing...and his meaning of life answer from the 'other side'.

Just sign up for a FREE (no strings) book download: www.noexpertsneeded.com
(Offer good to all who read this!)

...Simply my way of giving back.

take care,
Louise Lewis, author
No Experts Needed: The Meaning of Life According to You!

Char said...

ahhh, yes...I know this feeling. sorry honey..wish I was there just to hold your hand.

Liss said...

This is a beautiful tribute. I lost my dad almost 8 years ago. I have alway want to watch my wedding video to see his speech and here him talk again but I know even 8 years on I can't bring myself to do it because of the sadness I will free and all the tissues I will go thorough.