please pray

this is my mom. isn't she beautiful? i was already going to post these pictures soon. i'll explain why, and then i'll explain why i ask for your prayers.

remember i was having a rough patch a short while back? well, one of my most difficult days was the labor day holiday, and because it was a holiday, i went to my mom's house to visit. it was going to be my brother, my sister, my mom and me. but when i got there, it was just my mom. i knew it was going to be good and healing to see her, because she just has that way about her, and i suppose she always will as a mother.

she could sense that i was not doing well—i'm guessing my puffy eyes were her first clue. but she just knew by my quiet demeanor and my less-than-usual amount of chattiness. she asked what was wrong, and though i did not feel like talking about things right then, she guessed what they were because she knows much of what is going on in my life—as a mother should, i guess.

i brought my camera with me that day, and it was such a beautiful day, so after visiting with her for a little bit, i went outside to take pictures while she did a few things around the house as we waited for everyone else to show up. i was out there for a good while. at some point, i could hear through the open windows that she was playing the piano. this comforting sound eventually drew me back to the front door where i took more pictures, and then evenutally all the way back inside.

when i had first arrived at her house, she had been playing as well, but also singing along at that point. when she started again after i left to take pictures, this time she only played. i walked up the steps at the front door and turned the corner into the living room to see and hear one of the most precious sights and sounds i ever have in my life. not knowing that i was watching her, she sat prayerfully playing if ever i love thee my jesus tis now—a hymn i grew up singing in church and at home. one of my favorite hymns. and one i knew she was probably praying the words to in her mind.

i could see in her face that she was burdened and prayerful—i'm sure partly for me, but probably also for all of her children and in-laws and hurting friends and family. i know my mom prays daily for her five kids—often in the middle of the night on her knees. even if she was not praying specifically for me right then, i know she had lifted me up in prayer since i had been there that day. in my hurting state, this sight and sound was like a balm to my spirit. i will truly never forget it, and i was so glad to have my camera in hand to visually capture this moment forever.

my mom is awesome. of course, she is not perfect. but she is a solid woman of faith—the most solid i've ever known. these pictures absolutely hold the essence of who she is. she is humble and soft and contrite and caring and so in love with God. she is so trusting and so full of faith. and i will always cherish seeing her there like that this day—doing things she has done as long as i have known her. trusting, playing piano, praying, waiting, loving.

so all of this is what i would have written in the post that i planned on doing with these photos originally. but what i did not expect to write about was this... my mom was in a car accident last night. she is okay, which i am so grateful for. she was very shaken up, and a little bit bruised. but thankfully, she is uninjured. she was on her way home from a relaxing day of reading at the beach. she drove a good couple of hours to one of the prettiest beaches around—lake forest beach on lake michigan. it was a favorite spot of her and my dad's that my sister had discovered back when she was working in the area.

she told me on the phone last night that about five minutes before the collision occurred, she had been praying {i told you, she is always praying}, and she even said these very words out loud, "Lord, i feel like i'm finally coming to the place where i really trust you." wow. how's that for a test of faith?

i feel so bad for her, because her car was totaled—a car she was so grateful to recently get after having driven around in two older and failing vehicles that her and my dad still owned just before he died. she felt this new car was such a blessing, and it truly was. she also depended on it a lot, because she is very involved at her church and goes to visit the elderly in the nursing home every sunday. i know this will be hard on her, but i also know that she is a very resilient person who has gone through so so much. so i know she will be okay.

as i said, i am grateful that she is not injured, nor was the other person involved in the collision. but at my mom's age especially, this is a hard thing to go through and even harder without my dad, i'm sure. it's times like this that she really misses him, i know. {she even wrote so here.} i'm also feeling bad about the timing, because just last week i started working full time. had i not received this freelance opportunity, i would be available to go out and spend time with her all week and also drive her around until she gets a new car. but i know she would rather that i have a job, so it's all for the best. it's just one of those things where i feel helpless.

i think i will be going out there later today, and i just talked to her a little bit ago. she sounds pretty good. everything is going to be just fine, i'm sure. but i still ask for your prayers for my sweet mama, who is herself dedicated to always praying for others who are in need.