they can't all be happy, cheery posts, but i'll still try to put a positive spin on it.

i chose this photo, because it fits my mood. it was another busy day, but a rough one, too. work's been a bit stressful, but it's more disappointment in people that's got me in a funk. i realize no one is perfect, and i realize i'm a disappointment to people sometimes. but every once in a while, i lose heart because within a short period of time, i feel disappointed by so many people on so many levels. people i know well. people i barely know. and everything in between.

i sometimes feel as though i might just have too high of expectations. who knows. all i do know is i've had a rough day. a couple of them, actually. i know most people who are hurtful don't mean to be. but shouldn't we all be careful to not unknowingly hurt someone? i think so. i don't want to be hurtful... knowingly or not. when someone does or says something that makes me feel bad, i think, "gosh! have i done that? i hope not. i hope i remember how this feels and don't make someone else feel that way."

but i know i'll slip. i just hope when i do, it's not on a day that the person i offended happened to get that kind of thing from all directions on several levels. i'd hate to think they had a day like mine. these past couple of days, i've had people treat me as if i'm incompetent, untrustworthy, too sensitive and not sensitive enough. i've also had people treat me like less than a friend even though i've been a friend to them. i've been ignored. and i've had things done {or not not done} that made me feel less important to someone that i thought i was.

i've even had people just flat out make fun of me and gossip. {that's the hardest one, because i make it a goal of mine to not make fun of people or gossip, so it's really hurtful when it's done to me.} and i hate to say this, but i even feel as though i am used and taken advantage of in a certain situation. gossip or making fun and using or taking advantage of seem more intentional and less likely to be inadvertent, so these are the two i struggle with most.

none of this is foreign or new to me, just as i'm sure it is not to most people. we all experience these things. it's just that when it all happens at once, it can really set you up for feeling discouraged.

i grew up in a home where we were taught to "turn the other cheek" and "forgive and forget" and such. and i believe those things. but i also think that the experience of being offended should trigger something in us to look at ourselves and take measure of our own ways. i'm not talking about the immediate. of course i'm initially offended, which makes me retreat and not want to be social with anyone for a while. but when i'm my usual self, am i saying things flippantly, or hurtfully out of my own insecurity, or purposefully because i want to intentionally make someone feel bad? now's a good time to look back {or even ahead} and ask, "have i done this?" or "could i see myself doing this inadvertently?" i think merely just forgiving and taking everything with a grain of salt is only half the battle.

i've always had thin skin. but i don't want my skin to get so thick and resilient that i'm calloused to the feelings of others. what do you think? how do you handle days like these?

i know it's a bad day when i come home crying and saying to myself or the hubby, "i just don't understand people."

well, i'm exhausted, so i'm going to sleep now. days like this are usually just that... just a day. i usually just need a good night's sleep and some time to let things roll off my back. i'm so glad b. made the bed and laid out my p.j.s for me. it was a sweet gesture from him after he let me vent my frustrations to him. so i'm off to slumber land now. hoping your day was better than mine. good night.


Lisa said...

oh, georgia. :( i'm so sorry that you've had such a bad day. i don't blame you for being upset! none of those things sound very nice at all, especially to happen in the same day. no one should be making you feel like that. and as much as we try to put a positive spin on things (which i very much admire you for doing) it doesn't make it hurt less or any less crappy.

but i will tell you...i don't think you are any of those things that people have made you feel! you are beautiful and talented and admirable and good and kind. i may not know you in person, but those are the things that seep through between the lines of your blogs. you are a unique person. an artist. very, very special. you inspire me on a daily basis, you really do.

i hope things look up for you! of course, i know they will. i'm sorry that people are just lame sometimes. :(

sending you some virtual smiles... :)

ginny said...

hi georgia,
so sorry to hear that your last few days have been hard, sad and frustrating.
i also have a thin skin and like you was brought up to not make a fuss and to forgive readily and to turn the other cheek...
i have had some hard times with self esteem throughout my life and with people who at times have been very hurtful and downright nasty to me... i have learned that the only person's feelings that i have control of are my own.... i cannot make people be nice to me or be different than how they are. but i do believe that there are reasons why some folk are critical, or rude or unpleasant... maybe they have hurts in their lives which they do not know how to handle and inadvertently ( and wrongly) vent these out on others? it is hard to get along with everyone but if you just be your lovely beautiful sensitive self and give off love into the world then i believe good things do come. i also think that the way you take every situation and difficulty as something to learn from is inspiring... i am trying to do this too.
rest also and taking good care of yourself is often the key to being strong enough to cope with these type of days and also as you say these days do pass...
hope you wake up to a better today today,
sending you lots of love and positive energies across the water.
ginny xx

Steve Gravano said...

Hi Georgia, I don't know why some people are so inconsiderate. I see it a lot in the circles I work around. It has taken its toll on me and I'm sure anyone else that has any sensitivity, like yourself. Chin-up Georgia, remember everyone has a plot in this life. Their purpose may be to remind us to be thankful there are people like you in the world. You're married to one of those people. I hope today is a better day.

Tracy said...

Oh, Georgia...how much I can relate to this post too. I also have thin skin... so thin sometime I wonder if I can handle this world we live in. I'm no angel or perfect either, but maybe my expectations are higher than most. I've been called too sensitive, among other things--LOL! But like you, I'd rather be sensitive and hold values true to me than be so thick skin nothing mattered. We can't control what others do, say, or not do or say, etc. But we do have ourselves and we can control that. It is hard sometimes to find the balance between it all. And all we can do is our best with each day given, whatever comes our way. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I hope things will be easier for your soon and you find the balance. Be taking good care... Thinking of you... ((HUGS))

beth said...

being sensitive and emotional is a trait that I hold up high...becasue if you're not those things, you are hard and cold....

let the tears flow if need be....you know who you are and what you're made of and what you can handle....

and those other people...that's all they are, other people, who carry baggage and sometimes feel like ti's us, the thin skinned folks they can over power just to make themselves feel better....

you are stronger than you believe...we all are !

Char said...

when people are rude or uncaring, i just have to examine if i've done anything to offend them and if i haven't, then i chalk it up to them having a very bad disposition and not being mature or strong enough to do the right thing. it's difficult at times but me being in a new work place has taught me (after my last experience) to mostly keep to myself and just plow through my work.

hope it gets better for you.

Rochelle said...

Oh *hugs*... so sorry you had a rough day sweetie. You are truly one of the most delightful, sweetest, most special people I know so it hurts my heart to know you've been hurt in this way. :(

I think you said it all very well though... we do need thick skin to a certain extent because people are imperfect and will never be reliable the way our God is. But, it's also wrong to gossip {and I know I am not perfect at this by any means, but I'm trying to get better} and it really can be so hurtful. Have you confronted the person? I think the most hurtful part is when you know about the gossip, confront the person, and they lie or don't admit their guilt. That's soooo awful. I think the least we can do is humbly say "you know what... yes, I did do that, and I am soooo sorry. Please forgive me. I will work hard to never do that again, and I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings." Much outside of that, and it is hard to let go of it.

But keep on loving that person in spite of it, I know it's hard. Just think though of how much ridicule, shame, torture, gossip, being made fun of, and spit on that Jesus went through. All for us sinful people. I cannot imagine that kind of shame and humiliation. This side of heaven, I don't think we'll ever fully understand what He went through. And I think these pains just give us a little glimpse into the truth of what He did for us by dying on the cross. So at the very least, at the end of a rough day, I think what we need to do is simply say "Thank you Jesus. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sinful ways. Please help me to not be a hurtful, gossipy person... but a person who is willing to lay down her cross and help bear up the burdens of others. Make me into someone who sacrifices her life so that others can find You. Thank you for opening my eyes to the Truth."

And of course, crying to our hubster's is perfectly legitimate too! **hugs**

Rochelle said...

p.s. I know I personally hurt our former coworker S in this manner, and it haunts me to this day. If you see her or she reads this, please let her know how very sorry I am. That was not a good time in my life... not that it's an excuse, I'm just trying to right the wrongs from that time period. I feel so awful about that whole thing. :(

Jaime said...

Oh sweetie...can I give you a hug?

Like other commenters here, I have been labelled too..as too sensitive, a trait that I have grown to love in myself. Makes for a much richer life.

Just remember, any opinion someone has of you is theirs...they are coming from a different world view, their own life story (I pity them), and anything that they are doing or feeling towards you is completely owned by them and really, has nothing to do with you. You are beautiful and kind, and you know who you are. I feel bad for people that have to make others feel bad to make themselves feel more superior...I used to think that kind of behaviour would end after high school...apparently not.

So hang in there. As the quote goes, (can't remember who said it) No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Let me give you another hug.

Angela H. said...

"Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke; that's their natural and first weapon." -Gloria Steinem

Just remember that and keep smiling with joy in your heart.