love is...

,

i thought i could write about love today. but i woke up and found i could not. it's too monumental of a word... too monumental of a subject.

there are so many facets to love. so many types of love. but because it is valentine's day, i'll focus on the romantic side of it.

i'll try my best to express what i've been thinking despite the fact that my thoughts are jumbled... i may not be able to define love specifically, but i can say i know what love is not. it is not beautiful jewelry or fine chocolates from far-away places. {although i am aware those can be expressions of love in the form of gifts.} it's not conditional... "i love you if you can..., if you will..., if you are..." it's just "i love you."

it's loving even if you have nothing to gain {or lose }. or even if you stand to gain or lose something.

and although passion is one aspect of romantic love that sets it apart from friendship or familial love, it is not love itself. no love will survive on that alone. this i know.

a couple of days ago, i tried to think of some words that, to me, describe love {of any type }. four words immediately came to mind. and these could apply to all types of love... not just romantic.

the words are...

steady.

pursuing.

unmistakable.

considerate.

love is steady -- consistent and unwavering. love is pursuing -- always chasing. always. love is unmistakable -- you will know without question when it is present. love is considerate -- would not do anything hurtful or would do anything to undo a hurt once it's been done.

i also tried to think of a way to describe it in the context of an act of love.

love is laying your head down next to the one you say you love, and in their most difficult hour, asking, "what can i do for you these days?" and then doing.

that is how i have known love as of recently.

i could write more, but why would i when someone who writes far better than i, can say it much more eloquently... c. s. lewis to be exact.

"love as distinct from 'being in love' is not merely a feeling. it is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced {in christian marriages } by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. they can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. they can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else.

'being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. it is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it."

{~from mere christianity }

i would venture to say that most people have heard the well-known verses from first corinthians recited at least once at a wedding...

"love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

there is a reason these verses are commonly read at weddings. they are not meant to enlighten us or to describe love. they are meant to instruct us. and if there is anything i need to learn, it's how to love. i'll be the first to admit, i do not have it down. and if you don't believe me, ask my husband. {*wink*}

there's been a lot of confusion swirling around in my mind and heart for a long time. life is hard sometimes. there are difficulties that put strains on marriages and would threaten to break them apart. {as well as on any type of relationship.}

but a steady love... a steadfast love... hopefully is what keeps them together. same for friends. same for parents and children.

this valentine's day, my husband and i got down on our knees and prayed that God would save our marriage -- not because it's valentine's day, but because that is where we are at. we prayed for children too. perhaps you don't believe in God, but we do. and we are clinging to our faith right now.

i have friends and family who are struggling in their marriages. i also pray that their love is restored and is better than it ever was. i have friends and family who are still waiting for that kind of love to enter their life. i pray for them, too. i also pray for the some i know who have gone through a break-up or divorce. my mother lost my father, her life-long love, when he died just a few years ago. i know she still misses him beyond words. i pray for her, too.

i'm not saying i equate love with marriage. i know there are people who choose not to be married and can still know and give true love. i'm just saying, i know valentine's day isn't always the easiest day for some people. life really is hard sometimes. whether it is or isn't for you right now, i wish you love... of any kind. whether you know it or not, i wish you love and more of it.

well, i just thought i would share the things i've been thinking about these past several days... things that have been on my heart.

i wish you all a happy valentine's day.