i had written this {below}, then deleted it before i hit the "publish" button for fear it was too dark or too personal for my blog.

sadness cloaks me
like a saturated wool coat,
pushing down on vision's shoulders,
pulling down its eyelids
so that i can not see
except for what cloaks me.

but then i read something that my best friend wrote {below}, wishing i had her talent for writing and expressing, but more so wanting her ability to trust and surrender. so i'll let her words utter what is in my heart.


be my Sabbath.
because everything i thought i wanted has left me empty and only wanting more.
take me far from these speeding high ways,
rescue me from these crashing high waves.
be my Sabbath.
restore my soul.

be my Sabbath.
for i find no peace and there is no shelter.
i am living in the shadows of dead lines and dollar signs,
and they daily demand more than i can give.
be my Sabbath.
comfort my Spirit.

be my Sabbath.
for the path i run is long, and i cannot see the end.
when i sleep i do not rest.
my nights are full of fears and failures,
and always the eternal questions of eternity:
is this all there is? who will lead me home to rest?
be my Sabbath.
anchor my heart.

Lord Sabbaoth, You are my Sabbath.
because your Words continually leave me at a loss for mine.
"surely your goodness and mercy..."
surely, your greatest Love
meets me at my greatest need—
leaving my soul restored,
my spirit comforted,
and my heart anchored.

~j. jensen

please forgive my less-than-upbeat post, and know that i am having some difficult days. we all have them. please don't be concerned. i will be okay. i'm just going to be here less for now.