forty photos from this day... ten years after 9 | 11

this was a day that was bitter-sweet.

though ten years have passed,

i think we all felt the bitter again... or at least remembered how it felt...

to have a dark cloud of fear and utter bewilderment

about what happened on 9 | 11

hanging over us.

i remember immense confusion...

even for those of us who were miles and miles away from ground zero.

through the images and reports, we were all right there.

in some ways, it all seems like a blur.

 

every channel and every page today is a blatant reminder.

still, with tears, it is difficult to see clearly through it.

but watching all the coverage on this tenth anniversary

did not just vividly bring back the horror of that day...

it also brought back the brightness of the heroism, strength and unity that was displayed.

and so it was a reminder of what people are capable of

and what they will do.

in tragedy.

in a great hour of need.

i felt hope in spite of the awfulness again.

and that uncanny similar blue up above was less of a reminder to be sad

and more of a reminder to be hopeful.

to be at peace.

this bird soaring up above was quite cool to see... reminding me of the freedom

that came under attack, but could not be taken or destroyed.

it was one of the first things i saw on a walk today.

but more on that later.

though i cried once again

and felt pain and questions resurface,

i felt and sensed so many good things today as well.

gratitude.

resolve.

pride.

compassion.

love.

like i said, it was a day of bitter-sweet.

we knew full well that there would be remembrance of 9 | 11 everywhere we looked.

and so we were prepared for it.

expecting it.

even welcoming it.

ready to be immersed in reminders of how shocking this day was in 2001.

ready to grieve all over again for all who suffered so greatly.

ready to grieve again for this nation.

personally, 9 | 11 affected me deeply.

i am a crier.

and i take things really hard.

my emotions can run really deep in difficult times.

and though i was not right there in the midst...

though my life was not directly affected by the attacks,

it took me weeks to stop crying.

it took me days to calm down and not feel fear.

today, i remembered that well.

fear gone, but tears returned, i could not turn away from the constant coverage.

and this time, i was struck by stories that ten years ago

would not have struck me in the same way.

this time,

it was the stories of mothers

who lost their husbands to the attacks

while they were pregnant...

forced to give birth to children who would not have their fathers there too.

today, i saw the photographs of those babies {now grown} as i sat held my own,

and i cried for them.

for their moms.

for those fathers who never knew those children.

that was what was different this time...

it hit me the most of anything today.

but today had its share of lighthearted leisure and amusement, as well.

the husband and son i hold tighter today

were excited for the new season of chicago bears football...

their opening game of the season.

there was anticipation, excitement and merriment, too.

while father and son watched the game,

complete with fan garb and football snacks,

mom watched the 9 | 11 coverage...

grateful that she had them in her life... in the other room.

 

and the bears won, on top of it all!

not just won...

they won by a lot!

woo hoo!

it seemed trivial to celebrate a game win on such a day.

but just as the network reminded those who were watching,

football is american... it's one of our favorite pastimes...

one small way we can celebrate our freedom and show patriotism.

so we celebrated that.

 

and then to top off a win by our team,

it was an absolutely beautiful day!...

it was just like ten years ago, only warmer...

too beautiful to waste by being inside all day.

so, after the game, we decided to go for a walk...

mr. b, isaac and myself.

it was another "sweet" on this bitter-sweet day. 

{i took some pictures. i know... surprise, surprise!}

 

mr. b pushed the stroller so that i could snap those pictures along the way.

isaac?... well, he just sat there looking all sweet...

looking all around,

looking up at the trees,

 

looking up at his mom and dad...

even looking at the insides of his eyelids.

and we stopped a time or two to take a closer at him.

we stopped to caress his chin

as our own way of saying, "we are so grateful for you...

we love you and will never take the fact that we have you for granted."

foot tickles say that, too.

 

  

stopping now and then allowed me to get some clear photos.

attempting to take the photos while walking was not so successful...

  

but you know how much i like blurry pictures, so that's a good thing in my eyes.

daddy was nice enough to break his stride so that i could focus.

sometimes i was lucky, and was able to focus even while in motion...
but just on the wrong thing.

not that mr. b's strong arms are not a worthy thing to focus on.

  

in fact, a blurry issac being pushed by his focused father's strong arms...

i like the effect!

anyway, we walked and walked and walked some more...

little isaac going in and out of a nap.

we walked through neighborhoods that are as quaint as they come around here,

stopping here and there to "smell the roses"... or take pictures of the berry bushes,

  

{half the time, i was lagging way behind from stopping to "smell those roses"}.

 

then we're off again... 

and we're stopping again...
gotta play with the restless native who needs some attention. 

and we're off once again.

  

up and down streets.

i shoot upward...

then downward...

 

through sun and shadow...

  

past homes who displayed their own patriotism and pride by displaying the flag...

  

resting weary feet here and there...

 

happening upon sidewalk art, trying to decipher what it is

{what do you think?... butterfly or flower?}...

 

stopping to watch little critters...

 

under cool canopies of green that provided some shade.

 

on such a warm day, it was a long way to go.

but we eventually found ourselves right back where we began.

 

same spot... just different icing.

what a lovely walk it was.

what a perfect way to let the images from the television

sink in and be etched the way they needed to be,

but with new images that should be equally etched... and more.

cherished.

later on, grandma {my mom} stopped by

to see her favorite baby grandson.

yet another sweetness to counter the bitter of the day.

she got him doing some tummy time.

as you can see, it wore him out.

so grandma let him rest.

 

but it was too late.

he was not too happy that he had to work on such a relaxing day,

and he was sure to let her know it.

he loves his grandma, though, so he eventually came around.

they played together until he got sleepy, which was when grandma went home.

all in all, it was a good day,

and little isaac {the latest bears fan in this household}

was plum-tuckered.

this day was bitter.
it was sad to think of what this date will forever carry.
sadder to think of how some will never get over or through it...
never get back what they lost.

but this day was sweet, too...
in the healing of knowing of what can be overcome.
even more healing to think about what we have right now to be grateful for.

and so i have no list today.
just forty photos to mark this 9 | 11
and where we are
these ten years later.

forty favorite recordings of mine

before i get into this post, i just wanted to do as i promised to a new blog friend... spread the word about the terrible days many out east are having in the aftermath of the hurricane and continual rain and flooding. she left a comment on one of my posts asking me to spread the word about how much prayer is needed, as there is a lot of devastation there. even if she had not shared this request and brought it to my attention, i would have felt the need to pray after watching some of the footage on the news. i can't even imagine the frustration and pain that many are experiencing there. i pray the rain lets up very soon... and that the way of living they are used to returns to normal soon as well.

well, my blog posts these days seem trivial in the light of what is going on there. but as i am in the middle of this series, i am continuing in it each day...

i had to use old photos for todays post, because i had no time to take a new one for this list. and none of my recently taken photos seemed to go with it either. so i tried to think back to an old post where i wrote about music, and this is the one i thought of... about jazz. well, actually, it was about the ken burns documentary jazz. but in the end, it was about the genre of jazz.

the quote is from jazz musician, art blakey... speaking about jazz music. and the photos had been taken in chicago shortly before the post i originally wrote. anyway, anyone who knows me well or who has been reading this blog for a while, knows how much i love music... not just jazz. so somewhere in my thirty lists of forty for my fortieth birthday, i had to write about music! and this is the that post/list.

this list is almost entirely comprised of recordings i actually own. there may be other recordings that are favorites of mine that i don't own. but generally, if i love an entire album that much, i will buy it.

one of the reasons i love music {aside from what it does for me on an inspirational, emotional, motivational and audible level} is that it has such a great social aspect. music can draw people together to meet that would not have otherwise met. people can bond through music. but the best part... most music is known because someone else introduced that music. at least, that is my experience. i rarely buy or listen to an album because i know that artist was in the top forty charts or on a bestseller list. i usually will buy or rent a recording because someone recommended it to me. {with the exception of when i buy something because it is by a huge favorite artist of mine, and i trust that it will be good no matter what... and even if it is not, i still want it in my collection, because i have all that artist's work.}

i've also found that it works the other way around, too. many of my favorite recordings have been bought by friends of mine, because they heard me listening to it and asked... "who is this?" or "what is this album?"

so in my list, there will be many of each... both recordings i bought because someone recommended it to me, or recordings i have recommended to others many times.

okay... enough writing about the list and more compiling the list. {by the way, just in case you should be interested in hearing any, i am providing a link to each, if there is a place on line to buy it. just click on the title.

1. when i look in your eyes | diana krall | jazz | {this one, i just bought on my own, without recommendation. i had been a fan of hers for so long, i bought every new recording she came out with. when this one did, i instantly deemed it my favorite. i don't think she has come out with one as good since. it's a little bit ridiculous how much i listen to this cd. i've had SO MANY friends ask for the name of this when they heard it played in my home so that they could go get it for themselves.}
2. love and theft | bob dylan | blues | {this one, i bought for the same reason as above, but on my husband's behalf. he is a huge fan of dylan... but the older stuff from the sixties. not knowing this new album would be so different, i bought it for him for his birthday. he did not like it nearly as much as i do, so it has sort of become my cd. the only problem is, i lent this to someone, and they never gave it back. ughhh. at least the library has it.}
3. concertos for recorder, baroque bassoon & strings | telemann & vivaldi played by the drottningholm baroque ensemble | classical {baroque} | {i can't tell you how many times i have listened to this cd since i acquired it. it's one of those where you could listen over and over to it several days on end, and never tire of it... so very relaxing. a great for the morning cd, but, really, nice any time of day.}
4. forget about it | alison krauss | bluegrass/country | {another favorite artist of mine, whose recordings i tend to buy all of whether i've heard it or not.}
5. wincing the night away | the shins | pop | {i think someone at my last full-time job recommended this to me when he found out i had their previous album. i'm so glad he did, because if i had judged this album without hearing it based on the one before, i never would have bought it. it is absolutely in my top five of this genre.}
6. mozart piano concerto no. 24; schumann piano concerto | evgeny kissin | classical | {after seeing him play in concert at chicago symphony center, i had to buy some of his recordings... so i guess you could say, he recommended it to me!}
7. the horse whisperer soundtrack | various artists | country | {this is probably my favorite soundtrack. i often put this cd on to relax, and it often lulls me to sleep.}
8. home | fernando ortega | christian contemporary | {i find this cd so encouraging and relaxing.}
9. mendelssohn's symphony no. 3 and no. 4 | chicago symphony orchestra | classical | {i have been listening to this cd since high school. my dad owned the cd and made me a tape of it, because mendelssohn is my favorite composer. years later, i went and bought the cd for myself. i think i must have listened to it a thousand times during college.}
10. parachutes | coldplay | alternative rock | {it was a toss up between this one and a rush of blood to the head, but since this was the first one i ever purchased and heard, it has a little more of a nostalgia tied to it because it is what made me love this group, which makes me like it more.}
11. good dog bad dog | over the rhine | alternative rock | {i discovered this group at cornerstone music festival over fifteen years ago, when someone i met there raved about them, so i went to hear them perform. the lead singer's voice is crazy good!}
12. haydn string quartets op. 9, nos. 1, 3 and 4 | kodaly quartet | classical | {i picked this cd up for peanuts... maybe $.50... at a garage sale on the way home from a dentist appointment. maybe the best $.50 i ever spent.}
13. find me in these fields again | phil keaggy | christian contemporary | {one of my favorite guitarists... i have the majority of all recordings he has ever made.}
14. take a look | natalie cole | jazz / big band | {this is a great cd, because not only does it have good music... old school stuff like her dad used to sing. but it also has eighteen songs... that's a lot for one cd. you totally get your money's worth!}
15. ditty bops | the ditty bops | a little of everything, but mostly indie folk"ish" | {this is just a fun cd!}
16. jazz masters 38: django reinhardt | django reinhardt | jazz | {this is such a great cd to listen to at night while having dinner or drinking wine with some snacks! we discovered this cd while searching for his music.}
17. blind | the sundays | indie alternative | {this is my favorite of their albums. i find it very relaxing.}
18. beethoven overtures | the hanover band | classical | {i just like these powerful pieces.}
19. the late great pfr | pfr | christian contemporary | {i bought this for the hubby, but i like it just as much for me. it brings up a lot of nostalgia of when we were dating when i listen to it.}
20. hail gladdening light | the cambridge singers directed by john rutter | classical choral | {i know i'm a nerd for putting this in there, but i love choral music... especially from this choir and director! getting to sing with a choir in some beautiful cathedrals in europe spawned my love for this kind of music. faire is the heaven is also good!}
21. befriended | the innocence mission | folk"ish" for lack of a better term | {just beautiful... melodies, lyrics... everything. even the cover photo/artwork is beautiful. my sister got me hooked on this group, especially this particular cd.}
22. lieder: songs, chants | schubert performed by tamara takacs | classical vocal | {yes... i'm a nerd. schubert is one of my three favorite composers, and i love the songs he wrote. i would never have thought i like this singer's voice, but i do. and i love this cd. so much, that one time, my sister surprised me with something related to it.}
23. divine discontent | sixpence none the richer | contemporary christian | {another cover i love for its artwork! but i also love the music on this cd from one of my favorite groups of this genre.}
24. lieder ohne worte {songs without words} | mendelssohn performed by daniel barenboim | classical piano | {not only is this my favorite composer and some of my favorite music from him, but it is performed by one of my favorite people... the former conductor of the chicago symphony orchestra and pianist, daniel barenboim. in my opinion, no one plays this complete works better than he does here.}
25. infinite arms | band of horses | alternative rock | {this is one of those... "i'm curious about this group" purchases at starbucks. have you ever noticed how inexpensive it is to buy a cd there? anyway, i ended up really liking this cd... and this group in general. one really cool thing about the packaging for this cd is that it appeals to photographers, as it has a bunch of pretty cool almost polaroid-esque prints of photos in it. bonus!}
26. broken bells | broken bells | alternative rock | {this was also purchased the same way as above... especially when i found out one of the artists is from the shins. i have blogged about this cd before... i think just one song in particular.}
27. haydn, hummel, l. mozart trumpet concertos | performed by wynton marsalis | classical trumpet/orchestra | {this is just a happy feel good cd, that i love, because the trumpet playing by one of the best reminds me of my papa, who also played trumpet and admired marsalis.}
28. only by the night | kings of leon | rock | {someone from my last job introduced me to this group. musically, i think they are so original. and i love the lead singer's voice. great cd!}
29. fleet foxes | fleet foxes | alternative rock | {same as above. but a much more mellow group... wonderfully mellow.}
30. schubert piano sonatas | performed by radu lupu | classical piano | {especially the first movement of the first sonota... swoon!}
31. love in the time of science | emiliana torrini | alternative {i think} | {my sister got me hooked on torrini also. i like this recording as well as fishermans woman from her.}
32. best of bee gees volumes 1 and 2 | bee gees | classic rock | {don't laugh. the hubby and i think they were geniuses! their music writing ability is incredible. masters at harmonies!}

once again, i am not able to finish this before the day is over. i have my list done, but i have not added them all to the post yet. but tomorrow morning, i will add the other 8. see you then!

forty of my favorite words

...most because of what they mean, but some because of how they roll off the tongue... or both.

1. languid ... {my mostest, favoritest word evah!} =)
2. harmony ... {i love its two most common meanings}
3. ethereal
4. sea ... {simple, but lovely}
5. shenanigan ... {mr. b got me hooked on this one. he says it all the time.}
6. indigo
7. myriad
8. vintage
9. hutzpah
10. rue ... {i had to throw a french word in there. i love the spelling... it's visually pleasing to me}
11. copacetic
12. serendipity
13. infinitesimal
14. eclectic ... {fun to say... fun to be!}
15. synchronicity
16. conundrum
17. hullabaloo
18. pianissimo ... {i love musical terms... speaking of, i love the word música!... music en español.}
19. fortissimo
20. juxtaposition ... {fun to say... and to use in a sentence!}

21. behoove
22. concentric
23. jicama ... {yum... love to eat it, too!}
24. nevertheless ... {where else do you see three words combined into one... how fun is that?}
25. mister ... {it's what i call both my guys}
26. benevolent
27. fagioli ... {as in pasta... must be said with an exaggerated italian accent for effect!}
28. iota
29. caveat
30. unrequited
31. colloquial ... {fun to say... but ironic in meaning}
32. tranquility
33. fiddledeedee ... {favorite slang... and fun to say}
34. willow
35. etymology
36. matelassé
37. kerfuffle ... {now that's just funny to say... such a fitting sound for its meaning}
38. truly
39. concerto
40. manifest
41. swoon ... {i had to add one bonus word to my list... i just couldn't resist!}

i could go on and on with this list. {and visiting others' blogs doesn't help... i just saw two blog posts that reminded me of additional words... thus my no.41 bonus word above. the other favorite word i saw was perpetual. i so love that word.} but i had to limit it to forty per my thirty days of forty theme. if i was REALLY creative, i could take all forty+ words and use them to write a short story. however, i'm not that much of a word smith. i just like these enough to use them on occasion and appreciate them when heard or read elsewhere.

i loved this twain quote about words. i don't think i write with "lightning"-like effect. but i like to think my writing is several steps up from "lightning bug"... or at least i try. perhaps it's somewhere close to the "magical flickering bokeh through the trees at sunset" range? i hope so!

what are some of your favorite words to say, write, read or hear? leave them for me in a comment... i'd love to see them. and i'm still open to your list ideas! {and thanks to those who have already given me their ideas!}

i'll be back tomorrow with yet another list. hey, this is getting fun!!!