a day in your life at 17 {point} 5

dear baby-b,

i thought i would start to document

and journal about your surroundings

while you are in my tummy and getting bigger.

i know your immediate surroundings

are amniotic fluid, tissue and skin.

but there is a much bigger world around you!

and since i am not quite sure where we will be living

by the time you arrive for your birth,

i thought i would give you a glimpse of the world

that you can not see right now,

but has been enveloping you for seventeen and a half weeks.

and i'll do it by giving you a sort of "day in the life of you" approach.

let's see... today, we'll just stay in the living room.

i love our living room!

it's not the ritziest pad in town.

but it is so cozy, and it is home to us.

everything here is hand-me-down, vintage, or second-hand

{like from thrift stores or garage sales}

with the exception of a few items.

the carpet is green, the drapes are green

and the mood is soft and sunny

{especially around sunset when the sun glows through nicely}.

mama put the christmas tree up this year for the first time in several years.

she was feeling more festive than usual because of you,

knowing you were inside and could feel the glow of the lights

and hear the tones of the carols that played.

the tree is still up today.

i'm one of those people who likes to have it up

as long as i can get away with it.

we've got vintage albums framed and displayed,

and vintage suitcases,

and lot's of other little things we love and cherish...

nothing you could ever sell for millions some day.

but that's okay.

we hope to give you things that can't be bought with money...

simple joys, deep love, and a peaceful home.

and let's see... there's me.

oh, don't worry! i don't always dress this way.

you see, i'm not working right now.

so i was still in my pj's when i took this selfie.

{i wanted you to see what mama looks like at this stage of pregnancy.}

it was pretty cold today,

so i threw on some long socks and my warm wool slipper-socks.

then i put on my favorite ratty sweater.

{it's rather comfortable and warm!}

i made enough of belly show through the sweater

so that you could be seen... well, as much as you can be right now.

like i said, mama won't look like this in ALL the pictures

of you in my belly.

there are some where i'll be wearing

the prettiest things that your sweet auntie angela gave to me...

gorgeous mama-belly-friendly shirts

that show off my bump, but still make me look stylish.

{it was the sweetest thing for her to do.

you'll know when you meet her just how well-dressed and stylish she is.}

and in case you can't read the photo captions,

they say,

"jessie {my bestie}, me and michele

you'll meet them some day."

and

"birds"

and

"that's tony bennett.

you won't get to meet him,

but i promise to play his music for you."

and

"mama {that's me!}"

and

"you!"

i just want you to know something.

i almost fell apart today.

i found out that i can no longer depend

on the two temp jobs i thought i had lined up,

as they fell through.

{one was cancelled and one was put on hold indefinitely.}

you would think after the faith i wrote about

in yesterday's post,

that i would have been able to take it in stride

and just breathe and trust that God would take care of us

no matter what.

but i got a little worried... i must admit.

okay, a LOT worried.

you may have heard me crying up here.

{i apologize for that.

i know you need me to be calm right now.}

but then i talked to your grandma

{my mama},

and she reminded me of the great faith that hezekiah had

and i remembered how she always encourages me to want to be known

for my great faith

more than anything else.

and you know what?

i want to teach that to you, too.

well, needless to say,

after a time of worry and not trusting

that we would be okay in this time {without me working}

and after getting off the phone with my mama,

i knelt down and prayed right there in the living room.

and it was mostly for faith that i prayed.

but i prayed for God's provision, too.

your papa and i may not be able to give you much in the beginning

of your little life...

in fact, we may never be able to.

but my strongest desire is to give you the gift of the knowledge

of a saving, gracious, provisional God.

and my greatest failure would be to not share with you

all i have come to learn about him

the way my my mom and dad did for me.

so, if we are still here in this living room

for years to come after you arrive on the scene,

it is here that i will sit with you

and teach you who God is

right from his word.

and here, little love, are a few more photos

of the place where you now reside.

a little haven of rest

for your mama

in which to listen to her favorite classical music

while she lovingly rubs her belly

with hopes you will feel the love from her hands.

and hopefully, it is here that i will learn

to pray more,

grow in faith,

and call upon God for strength and provision.

{garage sale chair... one of my favorite finds ever! only $10!}

{garage sale coffee table... a mere $5!}

{not all our ornaments are vintage, but they are at least all vintage-esque.}

{okay... another great find. this couch was like brand new...
$75 from the salvation army!
i think it was made in the 60s!!
and the groovy floor lamp is from your "aunt" mary and "uncle" rob.
they were going to just throw it out!}

{that's frank sinatra hanging above the chair!...
his "nice and easy" album.}

good thing your mom and pop like sixties retro modern,

'cause it's easy to find things for our place

that are second-hand in that style!