i'm his maggie dubois

okay... strange title for a post, i know. let me explain..

i had to "write this down" so as to always have the memory of just how it happened, because it's something i never want to forget. i treasure each part of this little moment in time from this day. it might be more precious to me because i was there. but i hope it tickles you, too.

to start, if you were patient enough {or bored enough} to read yesterday's long post, you'll know that i am going back through my archived posts and updating the width of my photos to make them as wide as my new blog column width.

and you'll also know that in doing so, i came up with an idea to do this through the looking-back glass series. {see yesterday's post if you are curious... that will save me from explaining again here.} yesterday was the first post in the series. today is the second... i didn't know i'd be doing another so soon. but you'll soon see why.

third, you'll know that i realized the updating process is one i am thoroughly enjoying, because it is allowing me to see photos, stories or musings that i had forgotten about. but i did not expect something like this to come of it... an endearing little exchange that melted my heart into a puddle... one that never would have happened if i had not edited/updated a particular post at a particular time.

here's what happened. i was deep into my september-of-'09 archives when i came across this one, titled sweetheart tree. i had no intention of re-hashing it as a "through the looking-back glass" post. but while i was in the edit mode of the post to update the photo widths, i saw the words of the song i had quoted... a song titled the same as my post.

here they are...

they say there's a tree in the forest,
a tree that will give you a sign;
come along with me, to the sweetheart tree,
come and carve your name next to mine.

they say if you kiss the right sweetheart,
the one you've been waiting for,
big blossoms of white will burst into sight
and your love will be true evermore.

this is a favorite song from a favorite movie sung by a favorite actress, all made favorites because of a favorite person {my late father} who was pretty keen on the song, movie and actress, too... especially the actress! *wink*

it is sung by natalie wood's character {maggie dubois... thus the title of my post} in the movie, the great race {great flick!}, to tony curtis {who is also very easy on the eyes, i might add!}. it's really a very charming scene in the movie... sort of makes you blush a little. you can see a video of the scene here.

anyhoo... back to my reason for writing this. as i sat editing in my chair, at my desk, in my office, sweet little isaac was sitting on the floor at my feet playing with whatever office supply that he could get his hands on {which is why i can barely walk in my office, as he created a sea of "stuff" covering the floor... i digress}.

i saw the lyrics to the song in my post, so i began to sing them out loud. {i'm one of those people who just sort of sings all the time, no matter where i am {{even out loud in grocery stores}}... especially if i am reminded of something worth singing, like i was in this case.} mind you, i sing to isaac a lot... usually kid songs or lullabies. but this was different. i know i'm tooting my own horn by saying this, but i think sweetheart tree is one of those songs that suits my voice well and one that i actually sound pretty decent singing. even if i did not think that was the case, i'd have sung it anyway. it's just a sweet, feel-good song.

so that's what i did. i sang out softly, not necessarily directing my singing to isaac... just singing. that is, until i saw him look up at me with the sweetest smile i've ever seen come across his face in all of his ten months of living so far. when that happened, it definitely turned into singing toward him... at him... for him.

i suddenly had an audience of one of the most adoring kind. i can't even explain the smile that he gave me. it was as if he had heard the song before and it meant something special to him. he smiles a lot... when we tickle him, when we make funny faces, when we sing goofy songs, when he sees the meow-mix cat sing the meow-mix jingle on television, when he turns to find us observing him get into something he should not be getting into... so many different smiles for so many reasons.

but there has never been {and i hope never again will be for any reason other than me singing that song to him} a smile like the one he gave me just then. {his smile was different than the one in this photo... it was sweeter {{if that's possible}} and more subtle. but this is the closest photo of a smile to it that i could think of, so i used what i have.} my voice and the song stopped him in his tracks. he had been looking downward, playing with a paper weight or something like that. but in an instant... before the words "they say there's a tree" were even off my tongue... he stopped what he was doing, looked up at me, and blessed me with that most precious gift.

a.smile.

full.of.adoration.

he made me feel as pretty and talented as natalie wood was when she sang it. and that says a lot... if you see the video, you'll see she's gorgeous!... perhaps, the prettiest person that ever was! and my baby boy looked up at me as if i am just as adorable to him. he made me feel like i am his entire world with one sweet smile.

i sang through the end. then, of course, i sang it again... i'd have been a fool not to. the second time around, i picked him up to sit him on my lap, at which point he began to sing with me {i wish i could play video of the way he looks and sounds when he sings along timidly. it's the cutest thing. i so love that he sings already {{as rudimentary as it is}}, and i love that he is so drawn to music this early on... he didn't stand a chance with parents like us who think music makes the world go 'round.} before i had finished the encore performance, he reached up to hug me. and i squeezed him right back. there were probably lots of kisses, too. i don't remember... i just can't get the sight of that smile out of my mind.

perhaps there will be many more moments like this. i'm sure there will be. i hope. but i don't know that any one will ever compare to this first one in which i sensed such a significant connection between us... through the gift of my voice to him... seeing how much he loved it... how much he loved to receive it. "the act of receiving can itself be a gift to the giver." i just read that this morning, in this awesome post on a favorite writing blog {which i highly recommend!}. so true, no? and i found that to be the case here... the way my little man looked at me when i sang to him was as if i gave him the best gift he has ever received. THAT was such a gift to me!

do i sound super sappy yet? {i hope so! *wink*} like i said earlier, maybe it's not quite so special to you who read this, as you were not here when it happened. but i'm hoping that, at the least, the reminder about giving and receiving can be your take-away.

well, i'm finding that i don't necessarily have to take new photos or find new inspiration to write posts {which makes me glad, because i just don't have that opportunity right now}. my photos today were not re-used from an old post, as was the case yesterday. however, they are from a while back... not taken specifically for this post, but searched for and found when i was able to recall them and how fitting they would be.

and the words?... the song?... that was my re-used, looking-back re-post inspiration. but i don't really think i happened upon it. rather, it happened upon me.

happenstance and sweet little moments like this don't come along every day in our busy lives. i just had to write it down... with a look back through the looking-back glass.

{as a side note... since discovering, yesterday, the magical power this song has on him {{it's so funny how it sort of puts him in a hypnotic-like mood as he hears it}}, i will now be switching up my nightly bedtime routine with isaac. instead of singing the usual go to sleep lullaby set to brahm's tune, i will now be singing him the sweetheart tree.}