3.04.2010

a letter to anonymous


dear {and i use that word very loosely } anonymous,

i read your comment today... the one you left on my most recent post.

you wrote:
"i just don't get this type of blogging. why would someone post a lengthy 'me, me, me' post for the entire world to read ~ and more importantly, why do complete strangers waste their time reading these posts? (I skipped to the bottom after the first couple if items.) There are a million and one better things you could be doing with your lives, people, get off your behinds and get out in the real world! Where have all the great photos gone? Think it's time to un-bookmark this blog. Bye-bye."
i was almost shocked. then i was almost hurt, which almost made me cry. then i was almost speechless. after that, i was almost angry.

but one thing that i was NOT almost was feeling sorry for you. i also was NOT almost sure your comment was cowardly. and that is because i AM 100% feeling sorry for you and AM 100% sure your comment was cowardly.

and here is why. you are either someone who does not know me and are what is known as an internet troll. or you do know me on some level -- either personally or through blogging -- and you wanted to say something that would hurt me. i say that, because if you did not set out to hurt me, you would have said your opinions in a more constructive way. either way, you did not identify who you are, and anyone can say anything if they don't mention who they are, because they have nothing to lose and will not be criticized... at least not personally.

it's funny that you should write what you did, because i had second thoughts about publishing my last post. as i was writing it, i felt that it might come across as "me, me, me", or that i might seem like i was just fishing for attention or saying "look at me. look at me". and as i don't want to come across that way {because i am not that way }, i was reluctant to post it. still, i went ahead and put it out there, and the reason i did was because i realized that when i read the posts of other bloggers who have done that same exercise, i did not find myself thinking that they were self-absorbed, "me, me, me" kind of people.

i just saw them as being expressive. there are so many ways to do a self-portrait as an artist. singers do it. painters do it. writers do it. photographers do it. even little children who are doodling do it... freely and innocently, because they have no fears of judgment and generally feel comfortable with who they are.

while i don't claim to be a great or even a good artist, i do claim to be an artist. and i do claim to be expressive. and i've stated many times here, that i realize i am an open person and probably have less filters and guards than many. i tend to be transparent. i feel free to express and be honest. i could say a lot more about myself, but what i do choose to write, i try to keep positive or helpful... helpful in the sense that even if it is less than glamorous, it's something someone else can relate to. and i've been told this countless times by constructive people who come here to read.

perhaps you haven't been reading all my posts lately. perhaps you don't know that i've been in a great deal of pain. perhaps you don't know that i've been hard on myself because of the pain i'm in, blaming myself for being in that pain. so my attempt to look at myself, look at the positive things about me and look for why i am the way i am and why i've done the things i've done starts with recognizing certain things about me.

i thought of not responding to your comment, because i felt that would only give you undeserved credit and recognition -- recognition you don't deserve if you are not even brave enough to identify yourself. so i thought of simply pasting your comment in a post and then letting my readers respond to you instead. they would have had some choice words. maybe not all of them. maybe some would have agreed with your comment and have even felt like leaving a similar comment of their own.

but i would like to think most would at least agree with me that your comment was worded spitefully and far from constructively. some of those people might still think that i should not waste my time dignifying your words with a reply. i thought about that. but know i am not dignifying anything you said. i'm pointing out your silly, childish way of getting a point across. it's not just to you. it's to anyone who would leave a comment like this.

i had too much to say to not respond. and i think a lot of bloggers out there who have blogs that are even slightly similar to mine may have the same kinds of thoughts and questions and apprehensiveness when it comes to blogging that i have, so i'm going to say what i have to say.

of course, you've un-bookmarked my blog, so chances are, you will not even read this. but i really hope you do. i'll now reply to each sentence you took the time to write to me with some words of my own.

you said, "i just don't get this type of blogging." good for you for being honest about not understanding something. i would venture to say that if you asked 100 people if there is something they "don't get", 100 out of 100 would say there is at least one thing they don't understand. so that comment did not surprise me one little bit. and you know what? there are a lot of things out on the internet that i don't get, including certain types of blogs. but you know what else? those places never sent me an invitation saying, "what i have to say is the most important thing in the world, and you should come read/see what i'm saying/displaying." and even if they had, i would not have gone. it's a free blogosphere. there are no dictators forcing you or me to read anything we don't want to.

and furthermore, i've never once invited someone to read or visit my blogs. i have links to them on my facebook page, but never once have i asked a single soul to go look at the things i write or the pictures i take. but i've always been completely open and willing for anyone to see them. i just don't mind. if i did, it would be highly pointless to have a blog in the first place -- especially this kind of blog. so not to sound rude, but i never invited you to stop here and read. i'm not sure how you even discovered my blog. the ways you could have are numerous. that is not the point. however you did, you supposedly bookmarked it at one time, which leads me to believe there must have been a point at one time where you found it worth visiting. i just don't know.

but i never started this blog with the mind set that all who happen upon it would like it, appreciate it or understand it. that's about all i have to say to that sentence.

then you wrote, "why would someone post a lengthy 'me, me, me' post for the entire world to read..." well, you are not me, so you can't know why i would do that. i could tell you that i enjoyed it when i saw someone else post the same, and how i thought it would be fun to do as well. i could also point out that i referred to many others in my post... family, friends, other online sites, even strangers. i believe who we are is made up of who we've ever known and let into our lives. so writing about me is an extension of all those people. your point was posed as a question, but was actually a judgmental jab. and all i can say back is, why not? is that so wrong? not once in the post do i say "i am awesome" or "i am the center of the universe, and you should bow down and worship me".

it was simply a get-to-know me post for the actual friends i've made in this blogging community. and yes, the last "i am happy..." section was, as you put it, lengthy. but everything in that list was my expression of gratitude for the small things in life that bring me joy. i hardly think that is "me, me, me". i could not possibly list the things that bring others joy, because i don't know their hearts. but i could list the things that bring me joy all day long, because i am the only one who knows what those are. i did not write that for you. i did not write that for anyone who comes here to read {although i know some people appreciate it and may even benefit from it.} i wrote it for me! as an exercise in gratitude. i'm truly sorry you did not see that.

next you wrote, "and more importantly, why do complete strangers waste their time reading these posts?" hmmmm... you've just insulted my readers. i'll let them reply to your rudeness. {by the way, just because i've never met most of my frequent readers in person, it does not make them complete strangers. i consider them real friends. you only get to see the comments they or i leave. but you do not see the e-mails of encouragement that have been written between us. you do not realize that real friendships have been established.} what a sorry, sad thing for you to say.

when next you wrote, "(I skipped to the bottom after the first couple if items.)", if you were referring to the comments that others left, then i'm glad you skipped to the bottom. those people left those comments for me... as a means of conversation and dialog with me. not you. i recently went to a blog that had the comments turned off. this person wrote in her sidebar about why she does not have commenting turned on. i thought she had some valid points. she said she writes and takes pictures just to be artistic. she does not need or want the feedback and she does not like "comment fishing" {which is when people leave comments on other blogs just so those bloggers will come visit their blog and comment too }. i understand that. but on the other side of the coin, ask ANY one of us who blogs. we will be honest and say, it feels good when someone leaves a comment that is constructive and encouraging. you'd have to be made of cardboard for it not to feel good, especially when it is a sincere comment that engages dialog. it truly is like a conversation with a friend.

okay. we are getting closer to the end. i have some words about this, your longest statement of the bunch: "There are a million and one better things you could be doing with your lives, people, get off your behinds and get out in the real world!" how right you are. i could be saving lives. i could be finding the cure for diseases. i could be cleaning up the rubble from recent earthquakes. i could be working at a soup kitchen for the homeless. i could be volunteering at an orphanage. i could be ridding my hometown of litter. the list is endless. but you know what else is endless? the list of "a million and one" worse things we bloggers could be doing with our lives. in fact, i'd even say that the latter list would be the longer of the two if either list ever did end.

not that two wrongs make a right. but i happen to know that things i've said here have helped a person or two. they have told me so. and if i help even just one person, if i brighten the day of even just one reader or make them smile, if i make someone think and ask themselves something they might not otherwise ask, if i turn anyone on to the beautiful sounds of the music i write about, if i cause one soul to want to buy a camera because they see how much fun i have with it, then i consider it all worth it. all of it! phooey to you if you can't see that side of it. you don't want to.

and i just have to say, i find it almost hilarious that you would say "get off your behinds and get out in the real world". bahahahahah... i have to assume that you read my post and commented on it in a very similar position to that of the position that i am in right now -- seated, upright, forearms extended over a desk and keyboard, eye-level with a monitor. i simply can not picture you writing your choice words while out in the field farming, or in calcutta feeding the poor, or at a humanitarian benefit giving a speech, or giving your child a bath, or visiting your grandmother in the nursing home, or even just reading a book or cleaning your house. your statement was highly hypocritical. and seriously laughable. i'm sorry. i tried to be nice through this whole thing. but i got to this point, and i just can not help but chuckle and point out your ridiculousness.

okay, here we go. this is where i get downright miffed. how does one even reply to "Where have all the great photos gone?" first of all, i've never once claimed my photos are great. i don't even think i've said they are good. i think they are. and i like most of the photos i post. even if not one other person likes one of my images, i like them. your little question {which was once again just an insult posed as a question } is nothing more than an attempt to hurt me. i can not for the life of me figure out why you would want to hurt me. if we have never met, perhaps you have a blog and i offended you there somehow. i don't possibly know how. i always try to leave thoughtful and sincere comments. or maybe you have a blog, and i have not reciprocated the level of involvement on yours that you have on mine.

or maybe you don't have one, but if not, i think you should. i think you should enlighten us all with your blog about what proper blogging is, about what kind of blog everyone will "get", and last but not least, how to take "good" photographs. ughh! seriously?!?! maybe you were commenting strictly on the photograph that i put in my last post. if so, you got me there. i can honestly say, it's not one of my best, most significant or most moving photos. how 'bout the one two posts below that? did that move you? maybe not. but it moved me beyond words. and THAT is why i took it. and THAT is why i posted it. and THAT is why i wrote about it. not for you. not for praise. not to win an award. you could not be more correct... you absolutely do not get this kind of blogging.

perhaps you are someone who knows me personally. i was not aware that i had any enemies. i was not aware that i have any acquaintances who would say something so spiteful. but i guess you never know. i'm certain that all of the people i care about would not have written this message.

so that just leaves a stranger... someone who is lonely and has nothing better to do than to be mean and tear people down. someone who is unhappy. if you are those things, that makes me sad. i know what it is like to be lonely and even unhappy. but i could truly never leave a comment like the one you left me. not even anonymously. i just don't see the point in putting something like that out there. it's so counterproductive. you could have inspired me to be a more selfless blogger... more outward and helpful... less "me, me, me". you could have done so with just a few changes of words and a complete change of tone. but you chose to tear down. i choose to build up. and i choose not to give an ounce of weight to what you wrote and i choose to stick up for people who are brave enough to write and blog and express and take photographs that are clearly amateur.

if you are nothing more than a troll -- not a term i came up with, but very fitting -- and you only go around leaving comments like this to stir up cyberspace, i have no words for you. you'll never stop what you're doing, because you see no harm and probably find it enjoyable.

almost last, but not least, you said "Think it's time to un-bookmark this blog." if you truthfully had my blog bookmarked in the first place, i say i'm sorry to hear that. had you stuck around, you might have seen me grow and mature into what i desire to be... outward, loving, helpful, giving, supportive, difference-making.

finally, you wrote, "Bye-bye."

bye-bye.


27 comments:

Hi Kooky said...

Georgia - LOL! You rock! Yes - it cracked me up that the commenter insulted him/herself by saying, "why do complete strangers waste their time reading these posts?" Oh dear. Follow the logic, please.

Yeah, that was someone just spouting off. You have a great blog, and your courage in being transparent is inspiring for others. So there.

I love the way you ended your post. :)

Kristin said...

EEEEK. Why on Earth do people leave nastiness? Life is just too short for that!

smith kaich jones said...

Wow! This is the second blog I've come across in the last couple of months with an anonymous commenter complaining that the blogger was all about me, me, me. Well, no shit.

Georgia, like you, I had a few second thoughts - just fleeting - about posting something that's a list-o-me, but I figured writing something was gonna be about me anyway so why not? I think all the time how self-centered blogging is, and, oddly enough, my post tomorrow is about selfishness and how that's okay. So glad I came here tonight & saw this because it's perfect timing.

You were good. Loved it!

xoxo
Debi

Kamana said...

bloody hell! the cheek of some people!

dont let these people get to you. i think you tackled it very very, with this post :)

♥ miss.michelle said...

...terrible.
...so sad.
so many unhappy people in this world, i think they'd just like to pull others down too. i'm sorry this happened to you. you shouldn't let it bother you... blogs are places we write and express ourselves. online diaries per say. and if there is someone out there that's interested in your diary, than so be it. yes, it is all about us. how weird would it be if it was any other way.

:)

Elaina M. Avalos said...

Don't let people like that get to you Georgia. There's been too much of that around the Internet lately. No one forced him/her to read your blog. Being rude like that is simply a sign of issues that person has.

Sorry you had to go through that.

Tam said...

I only found your blog yesterday. I don't even remember how. But I stayed.

OH yeah, lookers and leapers! I so loved that idea, the scarf drew me in, then the eyes held me

The picture of your grandma grasped my heart! I no longer have any of my own.

BUT, the thing that secured me here? Your writing, it gave me a home.

I love REAL, I love writing, I love musings, meanderings, happy and sad things. I love the name of your blog.

In only 3 posts, you made me think we could be friends, you invited me in, and I almost felt like I was sitting by your side, and couldn't wait to hear more, to read more.

It's only because I bookmarked you last night, that I'm here to read todays writing. Good for you, poor anonymous, I hope I am never so unhappy as her.

I look forward to having the time to read more of your thoughts, see more of your pictures, and hopefully become another friend.

I'm here because you are AUTHENTIC! what will you do next?

sincerely, Tammy

ps. I'd be happy anytime to receive an e-mail from you, and I'm only a stranger........for now

Dinah. said...

your blog posts are very inspiring and leave me in awe. always :)
and I myself enjoy reading your posts that sometimes I learn stuff from you.
so thank you so very much for that. keep posting x

~Hurricane B~ said...

YOu said it very well, THANK YOU for coming to my blog the other day and accepting that award, for being a BEAUTIFUL BLOGGER and you are. This is one more thing that shows it. You also said you love reading my comments, I appriecate that, because when I leave one. It is for you to read. SOmetimes I try to think something to say that might make that big smile show when reading it.

So that is that.

Mr or Mr. Anny. You are a pathetic, weak and an ass. No one has tried to get you to get entertainment, you do not pay anyone one for their blog. So piss off if you think that this blog is not up to "your standards"..and we wont get into how low those could be. Blogs are online journals, they turned into a community and there are hundreds of thousands and more out there. Why take the time to leave hurtful words? Why am I responding to you? Because I know you are reading each and everyone, you read Georgia's well thought out come back to your immature and petty words.

I am sorry for you as well, that you would have been reading her posts, seeing her photos, admiring her courage for be willing to share the real her, not some fake blog,.oh look at me all I do is take pretty pictures and write moving words. NO she does that and more, she shares herself. Allows people to really follow her life. So if you have been doing this, you chose NOW to write something that hurtful? That careless? Wow.

That is that.

Georgia, we who care for you, and love seeing the photos, the poems, the music, the hurt, the happy the dark and light. Admire you sharing. So keep on and bravo again for how you responded. I would have been just as crass and tactless as the no balls annoy was. So you are a much bigger person than I. Have a blessed weekend.

LOVE
B

Steve Gravano said...

The blogosphere is as large as the world itself. There is all kinds of people in the world and one will not please them all. You are an true inspiration. In the short time that I've been following it's just how i see things, I've come to know a very special person full of love, kindness and openness. I feel lucky to have found your site.

Dani said...

i always like your posts, georgia. i think you've reminded me before that this space is ours, to share, have opinions, to be ourselves. that person or any person doesn't have a right to come to your space to tell you how to be. and they were cowardly. head up. there are lots of people who DO love what you do here. and that's what you should focus on. and i'm going to find that (#^@($*^@( and give him/her a wedgie.

jacs23 said...

i think jjj may have shared this with you before...but as i once heard, "the greatest of leaders & inspirers never had a 100% following." I think of this when i am criticized, as i remember that Oprah, Lincoln, Emerson, VanGough, etc all have had people say critical things. This is the sad world we live in...we may never understand it nor should we really want to...but similar to one of the comments above...a blog IS all about YOU...and for that..you should be proud to share and be vulnerable to others...because if you can give hope to others...THAT is what is important. You go girl!! Keep sharing!!! ><>

Anonymous said...

Miss G,
Though I do post to you on here as Anonymous, It wasn't me who wrote that to you. I always sign J or my name or me and the little girls. Some people have nothing better to do than be nasty and want to bring good people down.
Does this person know you? NO!
They have a sad little life and want the rest of the world to be just like them.
You are the most caring, giving person I know. Not at anytime reading your post did I ever think you were doing the me me me thing. and If this TROLL, really knew you, they would never had written their dribble to hurt you.
Evil people can't stand to see other express themselves like you did.
Who cares one less reader, You know won't bug you anymore with trash.
Smile. the sun is shinning today. And many more people love you than could ever dislike you. And if they don't like you it is their lose.
Forever your friend,
Julie T:)

The Curious Cat said...

You go girl, standing up for yourself. Generally the people I have met through blogging have been kind hearted and don't write comments unless they have something nice and helpful to say. I think that is the best way to be and I follow that principle too. How is it anyone's right to judge? And especially if they are going to be anonymous about it? And what is the thinking behind these people? I just think they are obviously not very happy with themselves...there is just no need to say mean things...there really isn't. Chin up - at least that person has buggered off now.

Char said...

how sad that someone feels they have to attack behind an anonymous moniker. there are times i worry about it being all about 'me' but then again, isn't that what blogging is really - a bunch of navel gazing and thinking out loud? when you get to the heart of it all. we visit back because something about honesty and realness draws us all in. i do admit that sometimes when a blog is extra long that i skim. it's because i have over 200+ blogs in my reader (thank god they don't all write everyday) and i'm reading bits and pieces throughout my day and night as i work or do my evening chores.

so my best advice - take what is positive and speaks to you from the commenter and forget the rest. because in the end, the thoughts of one little person do not really matter that much in the blogging world. and for them to know they've upset you gives them some sort of satisfaction. know what i mean? they're are cowardly as you pointed out and they know it or they would not have been anonymous.

slommler said...

This is your blog...your on line home! You can say and do what you want. You are not getting paid to do it.
I enjoy your blog and your writing is fabulous!
Keep on girl...keep on!
Hugs
SueAnn

Claire said...

georgia you have me laughing.

that bye bye was absolute perfection.

love you lots... and then some more.

Jamie said...

"There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good." --Story People

It's so much easier to just unsubscribe than be nasty. What a waste of time. I read your blogs because I like you. Because I consider us friends. And that's the point of it all isnt't it? To care for and about eachother? If we didn't live on opposite sides of the country, I'd make you a cup of tea and there'd be some sort of chocolate involved and I'd give you a hug.

Angela H. said...

pshh. that's all i got to say to ms. anonymous (isn't it interesting how people automatically assume it's a she?). either a jealous person, or a mean, vindictive person. sad that people would do that for no reason.

S. Etole said...

I'm looking forward to your continued shared words and photos and thoughts ...

Yvonne said...

"life is too short to be mean"; try to disregard the insensitive commment you received. anonymous is always synonymous with meanness.
you are doing your best at what needs to be done in your own life.
ignore anyone who interfers with that progress.

mrs mediocrity said...

wow, I missed coming by yesterday...that is such a rude nasty thing to say to you...and so absurd, no one forces anyone to drop by the blogosphere...
well anyway, don't listen to someone so clearly unhappy...you have a lovely voice, lovely photos, and your blog is exactly what it should be...your online journal. Isn't that why it's called a blog and not a website? Looks like you are already putting it behind you, good for you!

Kim Klassen said...

what the heck? so sorry this happened...
i adore
-your blog
-your pictures
-your presence
and i could go on....so many things i love about you georgia.

and your "i am" posting... AMAZING...

♥ kim

nacherluver said...

Sheesh! Anonymous was quite harsh. Don't like it? Don't read it!

You have been a bookmark of mine for a long time and I love reading your blog. I'm so happy you are continuing and not allowing "A" to get to you.

There was another blog I followed that ended up with a stalker leaving negative comments and she stopped blogging due to it. It was so sad. She was so sweet. I'm afraid it affected her deeply.

Sadly, people like that are part of the reason I don't follow through more on my blog. I fear and loathe criticism and I am working hard at changing that. I'm often too indigo.

Thank you for being strong and being a wonderful example of how to move on and use the experience for good. :)

Lovin' your blog, lovin' you!

p.s. I did one of those "I am" posts without a second thought! I simply thought they were just too fun! Like girlfriend stuff ;)

Alicia said...

i'm again behind... but as I started going through your posts here, I came to this one before the one that "A" had commented on. it really is shocking that you get these kinds of comments left on your blog. i seriously don't understand why in the world someone wouldn't just stop reading if they weren't interested. it sounds to me like they are a little self-centered in all actuality -- you know, making it known to you that they are leaving the blog... i guess it's good to know that they are and along with them, taking their negative energy.

love the way you inspire through sharing your own life, your own feelings, your own thoughts. :)

Toni said...

Wow. What a jerk. People like that are just unhappy people and not worthy of your time, Georgia. Just give 'em a shrug and a whatever and hit the delete button and don't even give them a second thought. They just aren't worth it. That said, you go girl!

Anonymous said...
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