6.19.2012

on fathers and mothers


fathers...

happy tuesday, all! how are you this fine day?

me?... i'm coming out from under a break-from-blogging rock. in fact, after a very busy weekend, i'm coming out from a crashing-and-resting rock, too.

two weeks of planning and trying to make a first birthday party happen {among several other pressing things in our lives} just about took the wind out of my sails. so much so, i was not able to get on my blog sunday to write about father's day.

and i certainly was not able to get on here to reflect on {and post photos of} the birthday party the day before. i was spent in every way. so i needed a couple days to recoup.

anyway, i sort of regret not doing something on my blog for father's day, because it was a special father's day... so close on the calendar to when my baby boy turned one. and only the second father's day for my husband. special to us both for those reasons. extra special to me because it was also my dad's birthday.

here are mr. b and isaac, captured the day of the birthday party.
isaac's party_003-2
i just LOVE this photo of the two of them. i don't have to go into it very much now, because i often write about this in other posts throughout the year... but i adore watching mr. b. as a dad. i could never get enough of it. isaac absolutely loves his dad. they have so much fun together. and the older isaac gets, the more giggly he becomes in response to his dad's playfulness... so, of course, the more i love to watch them. i also observe the patience mr. b. has with isaac. sometimes, it's a bit convicting, 'cause i realize that i could probably work on that part of me as a mom. i am not surprised by his patience, because he has been equally patient with me for the last sixteen years.

though i'm a couple days late in saying so {because you can only say such things on holidays, right? *wink*}, i am so grateful for the father that isaac has. i don't know of a single person that could be a better dad in all the ways that matter than he is.



mothers... my own, myself, my friend...

but here i am today to write, not just about dads, but about moms, too.

sunday was not only father's day for me. it was also my dad's birthday. sadly, i found myself thinking very little about my own dad. he passed away in 2006, and every father's day since has been difficult for me. but each one gets a little less difficult... a little less sad. and i think that is especially the case for last year and this year... because there is a new father in my life... my husband, the father of my son.

i guess that with so much to celebrate in that regard, it takes away the sting of missing my father. but when i think of the two together... my dad and my husband as a dad, i do get a little sad to think that my father does not get to know my son {and vice versa}, and he does not get to see my husband as a dad. but i know he would be proud of my husband, and i am quite sure that he would adore my son. so i relish those two sureties.

but i feel bad, because i hardly thought of my mom and how she might be struggling on such a day. truth be told, i was quite out of it on sunday... dwelling on the birthday party from the day before... celebrating all the things that made it special, but also beating myself up for all the ways i felt that it fell short... more to come on that.

all in all, though, it was a wonderful day. here is where the mom part comes in. of course, my mom was at the party. she did so much to help. she made lemonade. she made iced tea. she put together some photo balloons for decorations. she cut and taped up some signs that i had printed out. but most of all, she was there for people. it's people that matter most to her. and that was evident by the stories i heard and the things i witnessed... how she reached out to others. she made a mess in my kitchen, and i found myself irritated at her for it. then {on sunday morning} i heard a story of how she reached out to one of my friends at the party, and i felt pretty rotten, because it reminded me of what is most important in life... not picture-perfect kitchens or martha stewart photoshoot-worthy pitchers of lemonade... but people. and i knew my mom cared about a person at my party over the lemonade, and that turned my silly care about messes on its head.
isaac's party_002
she loves my baby boy. and she worked hard in the 90-something degree heat, going up and down stairs, making trips from the house to the party outside. and she was there for me, for my husband, for isaac, for my guests. and that is what matters most. i thanked her later. she said, "that's what moms do." i hope to be a mom like her some day. i will fail as a mom. my mom did. she still does. in little things {like spilling lemonade all over}. in big things. in things in between. but i decided yesterday morning, i am going to start focusing on her successes, her acts of kindness and sacrifice, her love, her jobs done well, her care for people over things. i think if we all did that for all others, we might not mind the failures so much. and why shouldn't we do it? isn't that what we would want from others for ourselves?... to not remain fixed on our failures, but to give us a chance and celebrate the things we do right and well?

the people in my life that have remained close to me through thick and thin are those kind of people... because i stuck with them through their successes and failures. and they stuck with me through my failures, short-comings, quirks, bad habits and patterns, off days or longer periods of life when i was not myself, moments when i was so focused on myself that i lost sight of them... i could go on and on. and they stuck with me through my successes, too... celebrating right along side me.

that is what moms do. i'm happy to have a mom who left me that example, especially now that i am a mom.

speaking of moms... isaac and i will be off shortly to see the new baby boy of a dear friend. i had the honor and pleasure of taking some baby bump photos of her a few weeks ago... she was kind enough to let me practice on her, as i had never done a maternity shoot before, and it is something i want to get into after i get some practice.
chris pregnant
this is one of my favorite shots. little charlie was in the tummy, cooking up nice and healthy, and it was a blessing that he had come so far... something that many were praying for after seeing what her first son went through when he came into the world.

anyway, now charlie is out and healthy and beautiful! i hope to take some pictures of him today. congrats to chris and pete on their brand new beautiful baby boy!

thanks for all the birthday wishes to isaac last friday. i'll be back with more birthday party photos soon {i hope}.

2 comments:

Kathy said...

Happy birthday, Happy Father's Day, Happy "I Love My Mom" Day, Happy Baby Bump Day :). It's ALL good. What a beautiful post straight from the heart...it's what you are sooooo good at :)

GailO said...

LOVE that picture of your mom and Isaac!