'cause it's not a bad idea to go out and get some therapy now and then.

on the way...

i tried to be done with shooting these daisies in this bottle. but i couldn't stop playing.

easier to read here.

a few of my favorite things {summer edition} + a little bit of getting something off my chest

i decided to photograph and post these daises for a very specific reason. in fact, the reason is very much the same as the reason i bought them in the first place. but i'll get to that in a bit.

first.


how cheerfully does the bottle from a starbucks frappaccino make for a summer vase to fill with daisies? when i bought the drink at walmart, i had it consumed before i even reached the checkout lane... and that was at 6:00pm. i was so tired from not having slept the night before. i've had a terrible case of insomnia lately. lots on my mind and plate.

anyway, there was a time when i should have owned stock in starbucks, because i drank this perfectly sweet pick-me-up elixir as if they would be going off the assembly line for good within a month. that was years ago. now days, i rarely have one. it's just too small of a pick-me-up for the amount of pennies you shell out, ya know?

but i couldn't resist its call to me the other night. it's been so hot here, and they are so cool and delicious.

so i splurged. treated the ol' self for a change. after all, i was out buying diapers for isaac. i deserved it, right? needless to say, they are one of my most favorite treats of summer. {can't even think about drinking them in winter... i need hot drinks then.}

another thing i love about summer is fresh flowers... preferably from a farmer's market, but grocery store bouquets will do just the same. well, i guess you can get fresh flowers all year. but nothing says summer like a fresh bouquet of white daisies in the thick of this season... even during a dry, hot one like this year. let me tell you. i needed those, too!

lately, my surroundings consist of nothing but tornado-like damage and seas of toys... among all the other things isaac can get at around the house. i thought i might go a tinge insane if i didn't get something fresh and living and pretty into my home. so i got these. i rather love them. they make me smile. {hey... someone should market that aspect of flowers... that they make people smile... they could make millions! *wink*}

i could easily end my post right there.

but here's the thing. it might seem to some that when you blog about your sweet, adorable, good-natured son or pretty flowers or fun weekends with friends that life is grand and that you don't have hardship and heartache and pain in your life... sometimes daily. but if you are one of those "some", make no mistake... the people you see blogging about all the celebratory or pretty or simple things in their lives {the same people who might post positive messages or anecdotes as their facebook statuses}... you know the kind? {ehem... go ahead and say it... me.} well, they've got problems. they've got heartaches. they've got shortcomings and bad habits. they've got regrets and fears. they've got awfully painful struggles in their lives. they've got tense, broken or strained relationships. they've got physical and financial limitations. they've got difficult days where they have to fight off depression or exhaustion.

their attempts to always put positive things out there? or positive spins on things? that's their way of coping... of getting through... their way of rejoicing even in the midst of tribulation.

i used to be one of those people that cathartically wrote about many of those tough things... money trouble... job losses... struggles with doubt or fear... even relationships. but i can say this, too. if you choose to honestly let that side of life show {which many appreciate because they identify with and empathize with}, you will be judged for that as well... told you are only exposing personal problems to try to get others to feel sorry for you. basically, when it comes to those people {the critics} you really can't win. whether it's that you are even the slightest bit personal on your blog or facebook when it comes to struggles or that you are too "happy" and celebratory. if i am perceived as the latter, i can guarantee that it is because i was judged by multiple people for being the former. personally, i think a mix of the two is a healthy form of journaling. but if i had to give up one over the other of these two verbal, written or photographic expressions, i will give up the former {any day} over the latter.

i absolutely refuse to give up on celebrating all that i have in my life to celebrate {which is not all that grand if you compare it to others' lives}. in celebrating those things, i have less time to complain about the crap and less desire, as well. many days, it's only the little things {like flowers and coffee} that boost me up and carry me over all the junk. other days, it's the biggies... like a beautiful boy who can get me to laugh when all i want to do is cry.

i actually talk about this often on my blog. i know i've used this quote more than once... "you can either celebrate what you do have, or mourn what you don't." or said a different way... you can either celebrate what you can do, or mourn what you can't. i'll always choose the first. i sometimes choose the second. but even in those times, i try to turn it into a celebration... or at least an expression of something i've learned.

yes, there is a time for mourning. and i absolutely do mourn with those who mourn. i mourn myself for my own deep troubles or struggles... many of which i will never be able to talk about here.

but here is a place i choose to celebrate and look for the good in even what seems to be not so good.

i happened to know there are some who don't appreciate that... are annoyed by it... not toward me personally, but toward people {in general} who use a blog or facebook to be encouraging or celebratory. i read an article about it today. the post was actually about real and raw photography. and that part i truly appreciated. in fact, at first i was totally on board with the entire post. but then, the more i thought about it, the more i found the other parts {where not-so-raw-or-real photography was compared to those always-saying-something-positive-because-life-is-disgustingly-grand types of people} to be a little bit off. i understand what the writer was saying. but i took offense, because someone who does not know me well or the things i am going through could easily put me in that category. and quite frankly, i don't fit there at all. in fact, like i said above, none of us do. we ALL have really tough things in our lives. some more than others. but all of us, still.

some days, in just the same way i need to buy some flowers to boost my mood or make me appreciate beauty in the mundane, i need to photograph them and blog about them, too. in the best light... literally and metaphorically.

plain and simple.

THAT is where bloggers like myself are coming from.

{philippians 4: 4}
rejoice in the Lord always.
i will say it again:
rejoice!

looking back {at photo walks} through the looking-back glass

this is one of my favorite photography quotes {especially because of how perfectly it compliments my blog name}. i sort of took it on as a motto a while back when i used to carry my camera with me everywhere i went. things are a bit different these days. but i still love the quote. now-a-days, i still look, see, stop and photograph... but usually within in the confines of my home, and usually the same subject... isaac. good thing i could never tire of taking his picture!

 

i've been thinking about this lately... how i never go on photo walks anymore. i took those walks all the time before isaac was born... even when i was pregnant, i would make a point of going on them. granted, i never did anything major, exciting or glamorous... like photo walks through paris or new york city on hiking in the mountains or along the california coast. about the best i could do was a day-trip to chicago to take pictures. other than that, it was mostly around here... in my small downtown or through the nature preserves in my area.

but at least i was doing something. and i miss that something... those walks. just me and my camera and for-the-most-part silence. always therapeutic. usually a learning experience... both in photography and in life. always reflective. always full of anticipation... i couldn't wait to get that s.d. card home and in the computer to view my photos on a bigger screen and see what i managed to capture that was worth keeping and posting.

well, needless to say, it's a bit difficult to get out and do this like i used to, now that i have an {almost} fourteen-month-old. even when i do have some time {if mr. b. watches isaac for me}, i feel like i don't have the energy... or if i do have it, i feel like i should spend it on something else that needs my time and attention {like little projects here at home and such}.

so, i'm using these two-year-old photo-walk photos instead... looking back through the looking-back glass. it's nice to finally post these, as i never got around to posting them when i took them a couple years ago. i am smitten with the color combo of blues and yellows. i got as far as starting to process these shots, but never posting. i think i know why, though... they were taken just one week {exactly} before i became pregnant with isaac. life changed just a little after that. it's been a bit of a whirlwind ever since.

i do look forward to more photo walks again some day... taking isaac with me, too. i'll buy him a little starter camera, and he can follow in his mama's footsteps... his mama's literal photo-walk footsteps, as well as his mama's love-of-photography footsteps {if he wants to, that is}.

what about you? have you gone on any photo walks lately? where do you like to go? what is a dream photo-walk location of yours? where would you like to go that you have not yet?

me? i'm still holding out for a trip to paris some day.

{p.s... i thought i'd do a moving picture monday link-up, since it's been so long! if you are not familiar, go here for the sccop. if you are and you know what to do, link below!!}

{it's not always just an expression... we literally stopped to smell the roses} + {some very big news in the world of isaac!}

it was supposed to be a day of working... packing up my son and driving in to the city to help a sweet friend {and former coworker} pack up her charming old flat {so sad to see her move from there... but happy because she is on to bigger and better things}. she will be moving into a newly remodeled 1930's condo flat. so all her worldly possessions needed to get wrapped up and boxed so they could travel along to her new home.

i was concerned that i would be of little help with my baby boy in tow. and i was right. he's at the age where he wants to get into everything... especially when in an exciting, new environment. so i felt like i was more distracted by making sure he was not tearing her place apart than i was helpful in getting things packed away.

still, it was a nice time... she got to see isaac again. {she had not seen him since the day he was born.} and her mom got to meet him, too.

but all work and no play will make for a not-very-balanced day. so off to play, we went... nourishing and sustaining ourselves at the same time. we walked over to one of the best thai food restaurants in town and shared three diversely-flavored dishes... all delicious! it was isaac's first experience with thai cuisine... and maybe his last for a while... i now know to expect some gassiness after such a meal.

fueled up from our late lunch, we headed back to the apartment to dive into working. and as the restaurant was several blocks down and on the other side of the main street from her place, there were a number of places we could have crossed to get back to her place.

had we crossed on the way back at the same corner we crossed on the there, we would have missed it. but something told us to press on further east before heading south again.

or maybe, rather, it was a fragrance in the air that subtly drew us there. and fragrant they were!... hundreds and hundreds of beautiful roses on several bushes that were much taller than i am. a few blocks down, right there in the middle of that great big city. and to think... we would have missed them if we had crossed any sooner.

so we stopped...

to smell the roses {isaac's first time ever smelling a rose}...

but also to see them...

to take some pictures in front of them.

lovely. so lovely.

and then, after we had heeded that age-old sage proverb... taking time to stop and smell the roses... we continued on, crossing the street to get back to the apartment and work.

how glad i am that we did, because i got some keepers for photos from our brief stop {as well as a few shots back at the apartment}. disappointed with myself in how much {or rather, how little} of a help i was, i drove home that night at least feeling filled up and happy to have seen my friend, and happy that her mom and she were able to see and become acquainted with isaac. oh, how he loved her! he has a thing for blondes... especially blondes who wear dark-rimmed glasses. he was pretty fond of her braids, too. and i'm pretty sure she likes him just as much... i have this sneaking suspicision.

how often do we say or acknowledge expressions and phrases, but never really practice them literally {or even figuratively}. i've discovered that actually following the advice of this phrase has given me a whole new appreciation for it. you should try it some time.

and now for the big, big news!...

my baby boy walked last night... the real deal. he had taken a step or two or three here and there in the past, but never continued on after three. but last night, he took about twenty-five steps {total}... about ten first. then a little bit of standing around. then some coaxing to get him to walk again. then another ten or so steps. more standing. more coaxing. then about five more steps.


i cried after i put him to bed for the night... when it really sunk in. it's just one more step toward him growing up and seemingly away. i'm excited... don't get me wrong. so excited for him and proud of him. but it still made me cry.

anyway, it's o.f.f.i.c.i.a.l!

at this point, i consider him walking. taking more than three continual steps without holding on to anything constitutes walking in my book. he did a little more today, but not much. i suspect it will be a slow process of gaining confidence before he is off and "running". but it is here. and just like after he started crawling, i think my life is going to change a whole lot... especially when he gets really good at it!


i have no walking-isaac photos yet. but i did get some video. i will try to post it soon!


i hope your weekend was swell... and that you got {or get} some time to stop and smell some sweet, sweet roses.

eleven months, an extreme (sort of) makeover and a day-late moving picture monday

a long {but good} weekend made for a slow start to the week and a no-show for moving picture monday. {if you were planning on linking up yesterday, i'm sorry to be posting so late. but if you have a moving picture, please still do link up at the end of this post!} the theme for this week was creatures, which is why i was excited when mr. b. told me that he saw a bunny in our front yard on saturday. i was going to shoot the bunny. {well, not literally, of course.} but when i went out to get pictures for m.p.m., that rabbit was nowhere to be seen. so i decided to shoot the next best thing... isaac's new bunny pull toy. isn't it cute? i just got it from the land of nod outlet.

i know this moving picture is similar to isaac's dinosaur moving picture, but i just had to make it.

speaking of isaac... he is eleven months old today! it's not the most exciting milestone, especially when the big no. 1 is right around the corner. but i am posting about it anyway, because after being asked several times "how old is she?" by others who have recently met him, i figured maybe his hair was getting a bit long. so i got out the trimmers and buzzed it as short as his dad's hair. now they really look like twins.

i'll be sure to get some photos of the two of them together soon, so you can see just how much.

but for now, i've posted the pics from our first outing post-hairloss. we walked to a nearby garden/park to enjoy the first nice day we have had in a while.

as with the sand in florida, isaac is not yet used to grass. he avoids touching it like the plague. and if i sit him in it, he gets very unhappy with me and does everything he can to find his way back to the stroller... without touching the grass, if at all possible.

but that's just it... it's not possible to get back to it without touching the grass. that's what made these photos of him so funny to me. you can see in his face just how torn he is between staying where he is in the grass and getting back to the stroller... but having to touch more of his bare skin to the grass in order to do so. 

such trepidation... even just to touch it, let alone sit in it. you'd think there was a scorpion in the grass.

apprehension turns to utter disapproval and unhappiness...




i guess he chose the lesser of two evils...














isaac's thought bubble: {"free at last!"}

me: "isaac, you be careful!"

i just had to laugh at his little gaze over my way... to see if i was noticing that he was kneeling up in the stroller, even though i told him not to. trying to look all innocent, as if i didn't see him climbing and trying to stand up. nice try, buddy.

me: "get down, isaac."

isaac's thought bubble: {"but, mahhhhhm... i don't want to!"}

after about a half hour, he finally got a little more used to the grass... easily distracted by the rocks at the edge of the garden that looked like they would be a yummy morsel. {oh, dear... here we go. boys and their rocks and dirt and all that stuff.}

linking up with my next photo here...

well... i may not get him to smile like an angel in this grass. but at least there were some pretty bright red flowers to serve as my back drop... making even faces of disapproval somehow look endearing.

i'm not sure what this flower is. but i know i like it!

by the time we left, he almost forgot about the weird, cold texture under his feet, and he was back to his old self... getting into everything he could find, watching the passers-by, looking around for birdies, listening to the trucks in the distance.

and me? i just took it all in... enjoying how cute he looks in his new do... how it completely changes his appearance and, strangely, his personality also. {that's what happens to me after a new hairdo, too.}

i enjoyed looking closely at the details, finding beauty in everything about our time there... the weather, getting to know him, the colors, the trust, discovery, the milestones, the miracle that i'm a mom of an eleven-month-old who's become my entire world.

somewhere in that stretch toward the end, he grew to like it there. i dare say, he did not want to leave. i can easily say, nor did i.

my eleven-month-old, blue-eyed, four-toothed, teething, trepid, trusting, wonder-filled, messy, rock-eating, dirt-digging, sometimes whiny, mostly happy, babbling, laughing, dogs- and planes-fascinated, rocky tee-wearing, music-loving, dancing, getting-ready-to-walk, mischievous, short-haired boy {becoming more and more boy with each passing day} who i simply adore. 

getting to have you in my life fills me with joy.

happy birthday, sweet baby {not for long} boy. in one month, we celebrate the BIG one. but just so you don't think that every other day is any less special than the day you turn one, i celebrate today, too. because i celebrate you.

mama loves you!

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if you had a moving picture that you wanted to link up, please do! {see below}. if you want to, but don't know the ropes, see my last moving picture link-up post for details.