one little word

so how was your day today? i have to say, mine was really good. though i woke up with a small amount of anxiety thinking about the things that could go wrong knowing i have placenta previa, i was able to snuggle up close to b. and have him hold me... he reminded me, "God got us this far, so just leave it at that. any thought that arises after that, should just be let go if it is causing you to get away from that one thought... he's not gonna just let us go now." {paraphrased} he was and is so right.

anyway, we had the nicest day together. he made himself some coffee and i made my hot chocolate with whipped cream {and i finished off my second delicious-beyond-words butterscotch chip cookie from last night's dinner outing}.

after that, we watched the film expelled: no intelligence allowed, narrated and created by ben stein. if you have not seen that film, let me highly recommend it to you! no matter what your world view or scientific view, you can not help but be provoked to thought when watching this film. we enjoyed so much about it... mostly the way it made us laugh out loud in certain spots... we are both big fans of ben stein and his dry sense of humor.

after the film, b. made me delicious scrambled eggs with cream cheese. we toasted a couple slices of bread to eat with butter and jam. and i drank my o.j./grapefruit juice like a good mama... with all my prenatal vitamins and supplements.

then i did a little online catching up while he showered and got ready for the day.

THEN CAME THE BIG EVENT OF THE WEEKEND!... tackling the man cave to convert one half of it into a baby room. oh, my! so much work was involved. {don't worry... i did not do any lifting. in fact, while he did all the heavy labor, i cleaned out the hall closet so that he could have it all to himself, as he is giving up his closet in the man cave for the baby to have a closet.}

of course, we did not finish. but we got very far on things... mostly his side of it all. baby's side will wait until we start to get the things we need for the nursery. but oh, my goodness... was it exciting to start envisioning it come together! 

and b. said the sweetest thing. he told me while we were working that he had no doubt i was going to make it the sweetest little nursery of all time. man, i love that guy!!

well, after several hours of work, we decided to call it a day and have a frozen pizza. {actually, we cooked it first. then we ate it. *wink*} when i'm done writing this post, we will sit down and enjoy one of our favorite animated films... prince of egypt.

but as it is saturday, i just wanted to first post my one little word image {similar to my last o.l.w. image in theme}. it's only my second of the year, and with this little project, one is supposed to post an image that conveys their word for the year every saturday. but i've had a few other things going on. maybe i can start doing it more consistently from here on out.

i loved how this one leaf was hanging on in the midst of the snowy, windy day... long after all the other leaves had fallen. i just saw such a picture of strength in that. i STILL have yet to write about the word strength and why i chose it as my word to focus on this year. but until i do, i can at least post the images i find that convey the concept of strength.

one more thing... thank you to all who commented with encouragement and wishes of good outcome on my last post... or e-mailed me to encourage me privately. all your thoughts and personal stories were tremendously helpful to me... putting my mind a little more at ease.

i did want to clarify one thing. it's not so much the scarring of a c-section that makes me not want to have one when the baby is ready to come out. i do get a little concerned at how my body will probably heal a little more slowly from that surgery than it would have fifteen years ago. but that is not at all what makes me not want the c-section. in fact, it's not "not wanting a c-section" that is the issue at all. it's "wanting the experience of giving birth vaginally so badly" that IS the issue. i had seen a video shortly after i got pregnant that followed a woman on her entire pregnancy and explained all that was happening to her and the baby throughout. at the end of the film, her giving birth was shown, and i was so moved by it, i began to cry out loud. i could not fathom me being that person in just under nine months. and though it freaked me out a little, i so looked forward to it. i still do.

i do know how much i want a healthy baby, no matter how it is delivered to me... and i realize when the time comes, it won't matter how, just as long as everything goes well and i and baby are healthy. but i do long to have that experience of a vaginal birth... especially because we feel that this could very well be the only child we ever have for so many reasons.

i just wanted to clarify... i'm not so much afraid of a c-section, and i am not at all concerned about a scar or anything like that... hec, i'm 39. who is going to see or care if i have a scar there anyway. i certainly don't. but i do want to know the feeling of giving birth to a child naturally.

all in all, i hope and trust that i and the baby will be healthy and that the doctors make the best decisions when it comes to our health. and it is only in God that i can put that trust.

‎"it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."

~psalm 118:8

. . .

on another note, are you watching the super bowl tomorrow? i have not decided yet if i will. i'm not even sure where i will be yet. but probably one way or another, i'll watch {even though i am quite sad that my chicago bears will not be in it when they came so close *sniff sniff*}. it's been years since i watched one, and i should tune in just for the commercials alone, i guess.

whether you watch it or not, have a blessed day!

one little word

last friday's picture winter prompt theme was "winter's pull", so i submitted the above photo. but i really took this photo for a different online photo project i had decided to participate in this year.

i've been hoping to participate in one little word since the new year started. {week four of this project was last saturday... and it's my first time submitting. and late, at that! YIKES!} my word has been picked out since before the year began... in fact, it was sort of chosen for me, as i did not have to think of a word to pick. it was already on my mind for many reasons... "strength".

it's the word i want to focus on and apply to my life more than anything else this year. due to having to change insurance as a result of the costs going up, i no longer will be able to see a mentor/therapist as of this year... at least not a paid one. not getting counseling seems a little overwhelming, as i don't feel we completely worked through everything in me that i wanted to. but as part of my learning to build strength and claim God's strength when i don't have my own this year, i will try to learn to look to him for counsel, too... through his word, through other believers, through prayer.

things are not perfect in my life. i don't feel that we are among green pastures. i feel very much in a cold winter season still... a valley. but this is a place that i can learn to be strong. and i am doing it! i see it very much! and january is not even over. can't wait to see where i'll be at come december!

i was just talking to b. we were discussing what to do with a collection agency who is hounding us. i said, "we'll make it, mister. we'll get through this. we always do." he said, "i don't feel like we ever get through it. we just keep wading." i thought, "yes, but at least wading is moving." so i said, "i know. but that's what i mean. it's like we are not getting immediately taken out of a vast field of hurdles. but we are at least somehow able to always jump every hurdle." a little at a time, we will be led away from this field... this desert... this wilderness.

and that alone will build strength! really strong leg muscles especially!

it's a gray and dreary day here. but i know spring is on the way. it always is... no matter what point of winter we are in, spring is ALWAYS on the way.

and that means so is baby-b! {who, by the way, has been kicking a whole lot lately! VERY EXCITING!... i tried to get papa-b to feel the kicks with his hand, but he can't seem to yet. he'll have to wait until the kicks are stronger, i guess.}

well, i just thought i would post {late} my first photo that i took to depict my "one little word" for 2011. it is the epitome of strength, no?... holding on.

hope you are hangin' on today, too.