5.14.2010

everything in between

everything in between

i came upon this terri guillemets
quote this morning, and i found it to be perfect for what i wanted to express today. what a strange {but good } past several days this has been for me. within one week, i learned of the passing of the grandmother of one of my dearest friends and the birth of a child of another sweet friend.

although the grandmother's passing was somewhat expected, it was still very moving and sad, as i know how very close my friend was to her grandmother. and this new birth was also very much expected and anticipated... a hopeful and inspiring birth for me, as my friend is even older than i am, which gives me some hope that age would not prohibit my own chances of pregnancy.

the news of each of those two events -- this passing and this new life -- was received exactly a week apart. and i know that these are both occurrences that we all have come to expect or prepare for. a long life lived coming to an inevitable close and a new life starting. part of life.

but what you don't expect is the news of a woman who is only in her early 50s falling gravely ill and fighting for her life. this was the news i received in between the news of the death and the birth. once again, news from a friend. my sweet friend and former roommate, who selflessly calls and checks up on me and invites me to tea, was given the abrupt word that her sister was in intensive care because her organs were failing after having pneumonia, and that she and her family needed to get there swiftly as there may not be time to say goodbye.

my heart breaks for my two friends who received the difficult news, but is filled up and overjoyed for the friend that gave birth. such extreme events... and emotions that come with them. and oddly, they reflected the despair and hope that was simultaneously going on in my own life and thoughts this past week. sadness on mother's day over not having my own children... probably my greatest desire. a sadness and reminder of how much i miss my father, that was strangely brought on by mother's day. but at the same time, somehow being filled up with hope and joy.

there is a really big reason for the latter that i am not quite ready to be open about just yet here, but it is cause for the most hope i have sensed in quite some time.

so i have been thinking so much these past couple of days about life and death and the inevitable... the pain and joy that is inescapably part of it all. joyful for my friends' joys. hurting for my friends' pains. feeling blessed to have friends who celebrate my joys with me. feeling blessed by having those who hurt for me, or think of me when they know life is hard or a particular day might be difficult for me... even some of you expressed that you were thinking of me on mother's day, and you've never even met me. you will never know how much that meant to me.

life can be such a long, long road, and yet seem so fleeting... so fast. like if you blink, everything you've ever known will be gone or in the past. but it is also so good... even the pain and heartache. i would much rather know pain while living fully, than not know what it is like to lose or grieve, but never live in immense joy. i guess i am rambling on by this point, and i would not even know how to tie up all these thoughts if i tried.

i'm just thinking out loud, expressing those things which i have been very reflective on. today is beautiful. literally and figuratively. and i just needed to say these things. life can be beautiful. even the death part of life can be. and everything in between.

7 comments:

mrs mediocrity said...

Georgia, that was amazing. and resoundingly true. I love the image with the words, I love the words that created an image. Beautiful. Yes.

Hi Kooky said...

Again, such a beautiful post, beautiful photo + words. You articulated so well about the peace that passes understanding. Smiling to know you have that. Enjoy your beautiful day!!!

Rochelle said...

Mmm... excellent thoughts G! Thank you for sharing what's been happening and your thoughts on this. I too, for various reasons, have been thinking over these same things.

I thought of you & prayed for you bunches on mother's day. It's a rough day for me too, but you know for slightly diff reasons. I ache for you to be able to have kids. I hope you know how much I really mean that, I know you'd be a terrific mom! I will continue to pray for this to come into your life.

I miss you. Let's get together over a cup of coffee/tea some weekend this summer. I'd love to catch up face to face, friend.

Love ya, Roe :)

S. Etole said...

thank you for sharing your heart, Georgia ... life is such a mix ...

Steve Gravano said...

Life, the challenge from God that we accept as is or that we deal with using the tools He has gifted us with.
You do an amazing job with your gifts.

Barefoot from Heaven said...

Thanks for reminding me about live between the moments.
I'm crossing my fingers still for you and an upcoming pregnancy. I'm a believer of the GOOD.

The pictures gives only good in the sadness of the story. When a life begins some were one stops...
Hugs D. Have faith in your body my friend. Have faith just a little longer.

slommler said...

It is the everything in between that can be so difficult at time. We need to remind ourselves to breathe. Well said hun!!
Hugs
SueAnn