spring forth

i took this photo {in my back yard} just a couple days ago... and already, this tree looks drastically different... about twice as full as what you see here. i love the burst of spring growth we get each year. it does my heart and soul such good. and this year, spring comes with a whole new meaning, for new birth is not just in the greenery around me, but in my home as well. if baby comes on the due date, it will be just a couple days before spring is officially over and is transitioning into summer. here's to hoping that baby-b "springs" forth as rapidly as the trees have been... to hoping it's not a long and tiring labor. but even if it is, what joy is on the other side. i anxiously await... more than any spring i have ever waited for or ever will wait for.


what are you waiting for right now?

frosty the what-huh?

today at picture winter, we had to shoot {creatively} our version of "frosty".

tracey gave the example of a cool shot of a beer glass filled to the brim with a frosty brew. in her prompt, she wrote:

today's prompt isn't about capturing a shot of your favorite drink. instead, i ask you to visually translate the word frosty. if that means a mug of beer for you, so be it. but, it might mean something different to you. the translation is wide open today and totally up to you. be creative!

well... i've shot some frosty drinks before... like my green tea lattes from starbucks or this coffee art from a favorite chicago coffee shop. and i recently captured some cool frost on my bathroom window.

i could have shot the whipped-cream topped peppermint hot chocolate i made this morning. but for today's prompt, my mind went immediately to this little guy, so i submitted the above shot. let's just say, frosty had a make-over for 2011! {*wink*}. his new year's resolution?... diet until barely recognizable as a snowman.

this special ornament never gets hung on the tree... or anywhere for that matter. each year at christmas, when this teeny glass ornament {from world market} gets pulled out of the box, he is used to play a little game between the hubby and me.

to explain, let me post a photo and excerpt from an older post in july, 2010:

. . .

here is a little glimpse of something i treasure immensely in my life...

i actually took this photo a while ago, but had not necessarily planned on putting it on flickr or my blog, i just wanted a record of the little glass ornament that my husband and i always hide from each other for fun.

i don't know how or why it started, but one day, one of us decided to hide it for the other to find just to be cute... to give a little unexpected surprise when the cupboard was opened. then the finder reciprocated. then it became a game and a challenge to find creative, hard-to-find places to hide it. back and forth... when one of us found it, it was other's turn to hide it. sometimes it would be months before one of us found the other's hiding place. but what delight it is every time i discover his most recent hiding place. i'm like a kid again.

and when it's missing, i'm constantly asking him, "where's the ducky?" in my little kid voice. i've put it in his suitcase or overnight bag when he goes out of town. he has hidden it in my stack of bills, knowing it will be quite a long time before i find it there {*wink*}. those are just a couple of many, many examples.

we just have a lot of fun with it. it's been going on for about three years. maybe it's just our little way of adding whimsy to our lives until we are blessed with the children we desire to have... practicing for when we do get to have them.

the whimsy and joy this little game brings is itself a treasure, which makes the little glass duck something i'll always treasure. but it's also the added meaning that has come about that i treasure the most. you see... some days, i find this little duck when i absolutely needed it the most. on difficult days. on days filled with worry or anxiety about the hardships life sometimes brings. on days where i'm not feeling adequate. and every time, that little duck is a reminder of how good life is, how blessed i am to have a playful and caring husband.

. . .

well, come christmas-time, insert above text {but change "ducky" to "snowman"} for "mr. snowman the ornament". in fact, the game started with the snowman one christmas several years back.

{b. and i had gone through a really rough patch in our marriage. so we spent our christmas apart. he went to florida to be with his family and i stayed here. because we were on the road to reconciliation, as a gesture of love, i placed the snowman in his suitcase... to surprise him when he got to florida and opened it up. shortly after christmas day, he returned home... with the snowman.}

that was christmas of 2005. when christmas was over and the snowman had to be packed away, the ducky took it's place. but the biggest reason i include an excerpt from my july 2010 post, is because i especially wanted to highlight what i said in the second to last paragraph... "maybe it's just our little way of adding whimsy to our lives until we are blessed with the children we desire to have... practicing for when we do get to have them."

two months after i wrote that, we got pregnant with the child we thought we would never have. i could cry when i read that. good thing we've been practicing these little games for baby-b. {*smile*}

{just have to add one more thing... this year, while straightening a shelf where skinny frosty was displayed, i accidentally knocked him off the shelf... "knocked him off" in more than one way! when he landed, his head broke off of his body! YIKES!!! i beheaded our snowman! but thanks to b. and some super glue, he is once again {{more fortunately than humpty-dumpty}} a whole "man".}

. . .

speaking of frosty, it's going to get very cold here over the next two days... almost down to the zero mark! brrrrrrrr.

i better cut this post off now. it's getting too long, and i have a house to clean for a guest on saturday... one of my oldest and dearest friends will be visiting from texas. i will definitely share more on that when the time comes!!

have a wonderful {frosty... in the good kind of way} day!

today {part 1 - picture winter}

woke up

thanked God for the sunny day

thanked him for the baby in my belly

thanked him for his provision

thanked him for answered prayer yesterday.

told him how much i need him today

went to the bathroom first thing like i always do {i'm pregnant!}

found this on the bathroom counter

only one person could have left it

yup... it was b.

he made me a sign with matches to say hello

before he left for work

while i was yet asleep and unaware of his awakened state

i had wanted to leave him a note the night before

telling him the good news i received in a message

just before going to bed...

the friend/bride that i designed another
wedding invitation for...
my sixth one...

wrote to say how thrilled she was with the design

that i came up with

what a joyful relief!!!

anyway, forgot to leave him a note with the good news

i knew he would be happy to hear

because he knew before he went to bed

how anxious i was to get a reply about what i sent her

and how nervous i was that she might not like the designs i came up with

two messages

that made my day

one last night... last thing i saw before retiring

one this morning...

first thing i saw upon arising

i love good news

have you gotten any today?

{needless to say, i knew immediately that this is what i would shoot and submit for today's picture winter workshop assignment. how could i not... when tracey writes:

it's amazing how even simple orange dots of paint can be the perfect substitute for sunshine when you really need it. no matter where you are or what the weather is like, you can certainly carry with you a sunny disposition.

today, keep your eyes open for signs of the sun. polka dots, symbols, colors, shiny things... whatever helps you remember that the sun will come out tomorrow {or sometime soon, no doubt}.

well, the real sun was already shining. but the sunshine that his little "hi" note brought me today was a far better glimmer in the rough days of doubt, disappointment and uncertainty i have had lately. do you see why i love this guy so much? i'm seriously crazy about him. he called about an hour after i woke up, and i told him just what it meant to me. then i told him the news of my other message from last night! now i am off to eat a healthy {{late}} lunch, which i will share more about in part 2, as it will be my other workshop {{simple soulful}} post. hope your day is sunny!}

oh, and b... right back at ya!

see things... like treasures abounding

hey, you!
don't forget to

so, you may have noticed... i changed my blog banner again. i wanted to do something a little more designerly, playing with type and photography and my love for both. i simply took a few photos -- two from my recent trip to florida, and one from my '09 trip -- and pasted them into the words "see things".

my blog name is still "it's just how i see things". but this time, i really wanted the words "see things" to stand out -- almost on its own -- sort of as an admonishment or encouragement or prompt to others and myself. SEE THINGS! do it!

sometimes i forget to. i get caught up in the "to do's" or worries of life. trust me... this whole time i have not been blogging, i've still been seeing things, and i don't mean in the "imaginary people-sized talking rabbits named harvey" sense of seeing things. i just mean, i'm still always looking around, looking at the details, looking for beauty or the interesting everywhere i go... whether i'm holding a camera or not. in fact, i'm constantly taking pictures with my mind, even if i don't take them with my camera.

anyway, goodbye old banner {above } -- so different from this new one, but i'm ready for a big change -- and hello new banner! welcome to summer and color and new life here on this blog.

• • •

and speaking of seeing things, i was reminded by today's shutter sisters post about one of the reasons i am a photographer... i love to seek, see and capture life's little treasures. go read the post when you can if you have not already. it's a really good one!

and here is a little glimpse of something i treasure immensely in my life...

i actually took this photo a while ago, but had not necessarily planned on putting it on flickr or my blog, i just wanted a record of the little glass ornament that my husband and i always hide from each other for fun.

i don't know how or why it started, but one day, one of us decided to hide it for the other to find just to be cute... to give a little unexpected surprise when the cupboard was opened. then the finder reciprocated. then it became a game and a challenge to find creative, hard-to-find places to hide it. back and forth... when one of us found it, it was our turn to hide it for the other. sometimes it would be months before one of us found the other's hiding place. but what delight it is every time i discover his most recent hiding place. i'm like a kid again.

and when it's missing, i'm constantly asking him, "where's the ducky?" in my little kid voice. i've put it in his suitcase or overnight bag when he goes out of town. he has hidden it in my stack of bills, knowing it will be quite a long time before i find it there {wink }. those are just a couple of many, many examples.

we just have a lot of fun with it. it's been going on for about three years. maybe just our little way of adding whimsy to our lives until we are blessed with the children we desire to have... practicing for when we do get to have them.

the whimsy and joy this little game brings is itself a treasure, which makes the little glass duck something i'll always treasure. but it's also the added meaning that has come about that i treasure the most. you see... some days, i find this little duck when i absolutely needed it the most. on difficult days. on days filled with worry or anxiety about the hardships life sometimes brings. on days where i'm not feeling adequate. and every time, that little duck is a reminder of how good life is, how blessed i am to have a playful and caring husband.

and like today's shutter sisters post mentioned, it's often the little things that can be treasures... it even mentioned "the note your husband left on the dining room table for you before he left for work". in my case, it's the desk where the computer is that my hubby leaves me notes. the most recent one... the one i am looking at while i type {as it's perched in my little vintage flower frog holder that holds keepsakes }. it says,

"morning monkey. have a good day. remember to get out! don't worry so much about money, neighbors, etc. we're on our way! love you. ~me"

oh, how i treasure that note and others like it... the little things. him... the big things.

a few bible verses that i grew up hearing or seeing quite often are matthew 6:19-21, which says,

"do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." {ESV }

about the things i want to treasure in my life while i walk upon this earth... i want them to be small {or great }, immaterial, meaningful things. not the things you can't take with you anyway. but the small gifts that serve as reminders of the good things God wants to bless me with. so when i speak of treasures, don't get me wrong. i don't mean earthly treasures {though i often find myself wanting those things, too }. does that make sense? i hope so.

well, regardless, i hope you are finding treasures all around you today. if you're looking, you'll find they're EVERYWHERE!

• • •

{thanks to all who have stopped by and said hello. in my mind, i'm still not back to blogging regularly. it probably seems like i am, because i've posted three days in a row. but i still have much to take care of in the coming days... but i just could not resist writing about this little duck, as i have been wanting to for quite a while. hoping you are all well and enjoying your summer... or whatever season it is where you are. big hugs!}

out...

...to see what i can see

{with my new favorite song stuck in my head }

...to see

if there might be a certain something

that i should freeze in time,

then melt

and pour into a cavity

that is made vulnerable by an obedient shutter,

then freeze it again.

i'm sure there will be something.

a year ago, it was this path,

striped with long, lean shadows of one of my greatest fascinations.

i'm pretty sure it is still there.

i'll let ya know.

see ya.

everything in between

i came upon this terri guillemets quote this morning, and i found it to be perfect for what i wanted to express today. what a strange {but good } past several days this has been for me. within one week, i learned of the passing of the grandmother of one of my dearest friends and the birth of a child of another sweet friend.

although the grandmother's passing was somewhat expected, it was still very moving and sad, as i know how very close my friend was to her grandmother. and this new birth was also very much expected and anticipated... a hopeful and inspiring birth for me, as my friend is even older than i am, which gives me some hope that age would not prohibit my own chances of pregnancy.

the news of each of those two events -- this passing and this new life -- was received exactly a week apart. and i know that these are both occurrences that we all have come to expect or prepare for. a long life lived coming to an inevitable close and a new life starting. part of life.

but what you don't expect is the news of a woman who is only in her early 50s falling gravely ill and fighting for her life. this was the news i received in between the news of the death and the birth. once again, news from a friend. my sweet friend and former roommate, who selflessly calls and checks up on me and invites me to tea, was given the abrupt word that her sister was in intensive care because her organs were failing after having pneumonia, and that she and her family needed to get there swiftly as there may not be time to say goodbye.

my heart breaks for my two friends who received the difficult news, but is filled up and overjoyed for the friend that gave birth. such extreme events... and emotions that come with them. and oddly, they reflected the despair and hope that was simultaneously going on in my own life and thoughts this past week. sadness on mother's day over not having my own children... probably my greatest desire. a sadness and reminder of how much i miss my father, that was strangely brought on by mother's day. but at the same time, somehow being filled up with hope and joy.

there is a really big reason for the latter that i am not quite ready to be open about just yet here, but it is cause for the most hope i have sensed in quite some time.

so i have been thinking so much these past couple of days about life and death and the inevitable... the pain and joy that is inescapably part of it all. joyful for my friends' joys. hurting for my friends' pains. feeling blessed to have friends who celebrate my joys with me. feeling blessed by having those who hurt for me, or think of me when they know life is hard or a particular day might be difficult for me... even some of you expressed that you were thinking of me on mother's day, and you've never even met me. you will never know how much that meant to me.

life can be such a long, long road, and yet seem so fleeting... so fast. like if you blink, everything you've ever known will be gone or in the past. but it is also so good... even the pain and heartache. i would much rather know pain while living fully, than not know what it is like to lose or grieve, but never live in immense joy. i guess i am rambling on by this point, and i would not even know how to tie up all these thoughts if i tried.

i'm just thinking out loud, expressing those things which i have been very reflective on. today is beautiful. literally and figuratively. and i just needed to say these things. life can be beautiful. even the death part of life can be. and everything in between.

happy mother's day

mom.
you are the best mom
i could have ever asked for.
i really mean that.
i honor the hard work
you put in for so many years,
and still continue to today,
to try to be the best mom that you could
to five children.
i'm sure there were days when you did not feel appreciated.
but words can not express my gratitude
for all that you have done for me
and continue to do for me {and b.}.
we love you.

like you said, every day should be mother's day.
i know you were joking.
but you are right.
you should be honored every day.

thank you for being my friend.
thank you for praying every day
that i, too, will some day be a mom.
thank you for never making me feel as though
i am not important in this world
if i don't have children.
thank you for teaching me
that there is a reason for me being here.
and thank you for telling me that today of all days.

~ ~ ~

i was going to wish all mothers
a happy mother's day today.
and i DO wish you one if you are a mom.
but i also want to say something to all women
who are going through what i am going through...
longing to be a mother,
but for some reason or another can not {or could not }.
i know how difficult this day is for you.
and my heart breaks for you
as much as it breaks for me.
i want you to know,
you are important...
just as important as all the mothers
who are blessed enough to have children
and faithfully,
selflessly
raise and provide for them.

you may or may not have that opportunity,
but if not, God has another purpose for you.
and though this is a day to honor mothers,
knowing how hard this day might be for you,
i just want you to know
that you are not unimportant.
in fact, you are very very important.
God has placed that longing in you for a reason.
he may yet fulfill it.
he may not.
either way, you are here for a reason.
a very important one.

quiet post

we temporarily interrupt this regularly scheduled program to bring you this special post {but i promise... there's still a "polaroid" at the end }

okay... a brief time out from the pseudo polaroids. i had to use my blogging forum to publicly give a special birthday wish to one of my dearest friends, mary.

i've introduced you to her before... back when she first started a blog. well, today is her birthday. she has been a friend to me and my twin sister since third grade. i just love her to pieces.

from time to time, we meet for coffee. the last time we did is when i took this picture of her... all the way back around valentine's day. you know how difficult it has been to wait all this time to post this picture??? *wink*

it's always the best time when we get together. and i can't remember one of those times when we met that she did not have with her all three of the things that are pictured below... her bible, her camera and some coffee. these are all things that speak volumes to the person she is. so much so, that i don't even think i have to say all of the beautiful, intangible things she is for you to know what they are. but i will anyway. she is thoughtful. she is creative. she is a seer. she is a helper. she is so much fun. she loves life! that's only just a start!

the only other tangible thing that i would strongly associate with mary is the outdoors, or nature. she is a true nature lover.

and there is hardly a time i've met with her that she did not share at least one of those four significant things about her. either encouraging me with a bible verse, showing me some of her most recent pictures, buying my coffee for me, or inviting me to tag along on one of her annual nature days. she is not just a friend, but a real blessing in my life. i hope everyone gets to have a friend like her.

i know we've been busy lately, miss mary, and therefore have not seen each other in a while. but know that i think of you often, especially today, and that i treasure our friendship. i wish you a very special day and a very blessed year to come. happy happy birthday! and it's still true and always will be... since third grade, until we meet over yonder... we'll be friends for life.

~~~

okay, for the rest of you... and since i know birthday posts can be sort of awkward for my readers, 'cause i start to get all gushy and intimate and stuhhhhfffff, and you guys, like, don't even know this person, so you are just sort of sitting there thinking, "i feel like i shouldn't be reading this... like i'm reading someone's personal birthday card message, or eaves dropping in on their personal birthday phone call"...

well, here is something for you. another pseudo 'roid for fake 'roid week.

i hope i'm not being disrespectful to the polaroid purists by declaring it fake 'roid week here. trust me, i'd be joining in on the real thing if i could! i completely respect their craft. and i have a strong feeling that by this time next year, i will be joining the real polaroid ranks. one of my friends read my recent posts, and told me she thinks her mom still has her polaroid sx-70 in her basement, and that i can probably have it! YIPPEEE. i'm over the moon!

thanks to everyone for the recent kind comments and strong interest in my last few fake 'roid posts. i already thought it was fun, but you guys are making this a blast! i'm glad you are enjoying it as much as i am. imagine how much fun it will be next year when i'm doing the real thing!!!

we are almost a week into may... how are you doing on your goals and dreams?

happy thursday! it's very bright and sunny here, and i'm going to soak it all in while it's here, because after today, it is predicted to be cold and rainy for a while. {always just in time for the weekend, no?}

continuing with the fake polaroids for fake 'roid week here, i give you some sepia 'roids.

so i pulled a bunch of images from the last several months for this group, and it got me thinking... "oh, my goodness! it's already may! in less than two months, the year will be half over. YIKES! how did that happen?"

then i started thinking about all the goals i had set for myself when the new year started. all the dreams i had written down or planted in my thoughts. and i started to do a self-check... am i where i wanted to be by this point? in some ways, yes. i'm almost debt free {still have one last battle to go on that }. i've made some healthy habit changes {but i've fallen off the wagon on those lately }. i'm pursuing some dreams in ways that i was never bold enough to pursue before {but i still need more boldness and confidence there }.

all in all, i think i'm doing okay. but if i were to not stop and check in every once in a while, i could see myself easily slipping on all of these. oh, how i do not want that to happen! i so sincerely do not want 2011 to arrive, and look back and see that i wasted 365 days again! not that any year of my life has ever been a waste. but i know i have not taken full advantage of the years i've been blessed with thus far.

i'm getting to the age where that's just not an option anymore. i want to live life to the fullest and seize every opportunity that comes my way! i want to grow. to learn. to achieve things i thought i could not. to use my time, talents, resources and blessings wisely.

i think we should check-in every month, at least... don't you? what about you? how are you doing so far this year? i'd love to hear... especially if you have some tips about how you keep it fresh and alive... how you keep the goals and dreams from slipping away unnoticeably.

do share! and even if you don't, have a happy thursday! i hope you enjoyed the "roids".

an ode to trees, under the weather, and another fake 'roid

i don't have much today. a sore throat crept in on me yesterday. i feel about the same today. and i've just felt really run down for a couple of days. so i think i must be fighting something. it seems to be going around {but don't you go and get it too!}, so i'm trying to rest and take it easy.

on another note, apparently arbor day in illinois was at the end of april, and i missed it. and i call myself a lover of trees! shame on me. {wink } so i'm just posting my arbor day post a little late. if you can't read the a.e. housman poetry on the photo, it says:

give me a land of boughs in leaf,
a land of trees that stand;
where trees are fallen there is grief;
i love no leafless land.

so there you go. my ode to trees in photo with his ode to trees in word.

and since it's still 'roid week, i'm gonna make it "fake 'roid week" around here on "...just how i see things." remember my tomato photo?

how could you forget? it's the most amazing photo you ever saw, right? {wink } well, here it is as a polaroid {processed with rollip }.

i have to say, i really like the original. but i LOVE the 'roid version. that's what i was talking about in my last post. i just love this effect. i know it's not for everyone. but it's definitely for me! {i enjoyed reading everyone's opinions and thoughts about this in my last post, by the way.}

well, it's wednesday already. we're almost half-way done! stay well, and have a great day! see you tomorrow with another 'roid.

which one are you?

i had already started planning this post a couple of weeks ago... not even realizing that 'roid week was coming up. if you don't know what 'roid week is, don't worry. i didn't know what it was either... until 'roid week came around last year, that is. it's just a week of the year when photographers and polaroid camera enthusiasts celebrate and highlight polaroid photography on flickr.

i don't participate, because you can only add to the pool if you submit actual polaroid film photos... not digital images that are processed to look like they were taken with a polaroid. i have two polaroid cameras... one was my husband's as a child, and the other i picked up at a thrift store for $2.50. they are both one-step models that use 600 film, and i don't have any film, so i have not yet tried them.

but i think i'm sort of holding out until i can afford to buy the sx-70 model. i've been dreaming of owning this camera for about a year. apparently, it's the one to have from what i've been seeing out there. i've seen so many gorgeous photos taken with that model in the past year. i absolutely can't wait to get one! until then, i use photoshop actions or web sites like rollip to get that dreamy or vintage look i love.

anyway, when i started this post draft {for which i created the above diptych }, it was going to be about the difference between a more accurate or precise photography {photos that more actually depict what we see with our eyes } and the kind of photography i am drawn to -- a more representational kind of photography {not necessarily what our eyes see, but something more blurred or muted }. whether this effect is created by the type of camera, or the way the photo was shot, or with a post-processing technique... it really does not matter to me how it is created. i just know i love these kinds of photos.

obviously, so do many others... thus the reason for groups and pools all over flickr for such images. a lot of the photo blogs i've been drawn to lately are also full of this kind of photography. and other than some of my recent crisp, bold tulip shots, a lot of my photos here have been more muted and/or blurry lately.

i think it is a mood thing for me... it depends on what mood i am in. i don't mean mood as in happy or sad. i mean mood as in what kind of creative or artistic mood i am in. for a while now, my creative mood has been more subdued. so i've been taking or processing a lot of my photos that way, too. {not only polaroid-esque... other moods as well.} often, i don't really know what i'm doing, but i just experiment and play until i get to something i like and that feels right to me.

which leads me to the point of this post... a question put to you. which mood are you? are you the one on the right... subdued, soft, muted, representational? or are you the mood on the left... bright, crisp, bold, realistic? maybe for you, it's not a mood thing, but rather a style thing... you're niche, you're trademark. if so, which of the above is more your style?

{the above images were taken with the same camera on the same day in the same place. but one is not processed {{obviously, the one on the left }} and the other has been processed to look vintage. here are a few more of my recent photos that i took and processed to look like polaroids.}

processed with a photoshop polaroid action

processed with rollip
{there's also a story behind this,
but i'll save that for another post.}

processed with a photoshop polaroid action