serene sunday

i had a change of plans for my day when mr. b. woke up with a sore throat. i let him sleep in and take all the rest he needed, which meant a little more work for me to handle the teething wee one. but it all worked out okay in the end. i really look forward to the weekends, because it is a chance for me to catch up on things that i can't get to during the week when the hub is working. he worked the past two weekends prior to this one. so imagine how forward i was looking to this weekend. *sigh* with under-the-weather and teething boys on my hands, i did not quite get to accomplish what i had hoped to. and beyond that, there were sights and sounds i encountered today that had me grasping for that silence i've been longing for and setting out to achieve {one little word}.

quiet is not always synonymous with serenity, but for me, today it was. i thought of this photo... another from that c.d. of winter bird photos i talked about a couple posts back. i'd still like to post the rest of them. but in keeping with the quiet theme, i chose only to post the one. i added this quote, because i thought it was fitting for the peaceful scene here, but also because it goes along very much with the theme of that same post i just referred to above {with the winter bird photos}... a theme that centered around embracing tension in our creative lives... and even our lives in general.

at first, i thought i'd publish one post per day {about the day before} for my week of mini-series posts that i'm doing. {i guess it's not really a series, other than the similar naming convention of the post titles... which i explained at the end of my last post.} but i decided to squeeze in my sunday post early and stay on that track, as come tuesday and wednesday, i'm going to want my posts for those days to be posted on those days. i think i'm beginning to not even make sense to myself, now. never mind. i think i'll just wrap this up before i turn it into the opposite of serene.

hoping you're sunday had some serenity somewhere in it. i'll be back tomorrow with "m{remains-to-be-seen} monday".

if i crack it open, i just might find some quiet there... and i might even reach page two hundred and ninety-nine

post updated 1.17.12 to participate in today's...

so i saw a photo similar to the above shot that i took
while i was on pinterest the other day,

and i thought to myself,

"i really want to take a photo like that."

so i did.

i honestly like the one i saw better.

but i like mine, too.

they are different in their own way.

but very similar, as well.

anyway, it was the vintage book in the original photo

that had me searching my book shelves for one of my own.

sometimes i am tempted to buy vintage books
solely for how charming they look

and how they might transform

a table or shelf...

or even an entire room.

but if i did that, i would have more useless clutter than i need

or already have.

so when i buy vintage books,

i try to purchase ones that are actually about

something that truly interests me...

something i would read,

whether the pages were old and perfectly worn or not...

whether or not the cover was frayed

or skin oils from hands that held it had seeped in to give it that oily sheen.

this is one such book.

it's about the life of franz schubert... my favorite composer.

i bought it so long ago,

and except for a couple skim-throughs,

i've not yet read it.

i'm so glad i sought it out and picked it up for this photo.

now, it's no longer out-of-sight, out-of-mind.

and now,

in my efforts to create a new level of quiet in my life.

i think i'll read this book

in place of any time i would have spent watching television.

being the music-lover that i am
and the kind of person that is more stimulated by film than i am by books,
i'm tempted to just listen to some schubert
or watch a documentary about him instead.
but neither of those are sans sound.
and because the one thing about reading that has always appealed to me
{even though i've never been a big reader}
is that it seems to provide a sense of quietness and focus and relaxation,
i am going to force myself to read about him, instead.

at my college graduation ceremony,

the president of the college
{who was also the commencement speaker}

gave this admonition to the graduates...

"always be part-way through a good book."

i think he meant always be in the middle of reading something,

or in other words, be constantly reading books, one after another.

i have not done that.

but {sadly} i've fulfilled his suggestion in another way.

you see, i've started so many books,

only to never finish them.

{i'm just not a reader.}

so i am {pathetically} always in the middle of a good book.

and when i say "middle", i mean way towards the front.

and when i say "always"... well, you get what i'm driving at.

i don't finish what i start when it comes to books.

i recall that in the past,

i have made "read more" one of my resolutions.

but it never really took.

maybe now, though, it will happen...

as a byproduct of seeking quiet out.

wish me luck.

approximately 300 pages isn't too lofty a goal, right?

what about you?

got any books you're planning to read this year?

stop and stay

i find it interesting that i went from strength to quiet for my word for 2011 and 2012 respectively. it is interesting to me because, although i did not plan it this way when i chose my word and announced what it would be a couple weeks ago, i am realizing today that they somewhat go hand-in-hand. i think it takes a considerable amount of strength to be quiet, seek quiet, create quiet, foster quiet and cultivate quiet... especially in areas where you are prone or conditioned or patterned not to.

with our unexpected pregnancy, job situation and financial insecurity at the end of 2010, i knew going into 2011 that i would need strength and would need to make that my focus for the coming months of pregnancy and being a first-time mom.

i must say... i was skeptical about this "picking a word for the year" thing. i had been a creature of habit that wanted to keep things old-school and do my usual list of resolutions. but picking that one word was effective... and it worked! it really did! some may say that i would have found strength anyway. but i think that my "think on this thing" mindset worked. and i not only felt that i had the strength i needed for all that i expected in 2011, but also for all that i did not expect.

dwelling on the word strength helped me have a blissful labor and delivery. but something else that i remember remarkably about labor and delivery and coming home from the hospital with isaac is quiet. i made up my mind to have a quiet and calm labor. i had heard "horror" stories in birthing classes... of really difficult and noisy birth experiences for some moms. but i had also heard that the more calm you are, the better the labor, the better the delivery, and the more you will enjoy it and remember it. i wish i could remember more than i do... those darn drugs! but i do remember a wonderful sense of calm and peace. {being surrounded by the ones who were with me was a big part of that, too... the best husband, the best doctor and the best nurse!}

anyway, as i had stated a couple weeks ago, my goal this year is to remove from my life {as much as is in my power to do so} all the noise that should not be there.

i have to get organized and join either the jill coyners or ali edwards one little word online journeys/projects so that i can begin to seek quiet out through photography. i was joining in with jill coyners last year for my strength word, but i was not very consistent with my photos/posts that depicted and spoke of strength. i did still focus on it throughout the year, though... even when i didn't realize it. {i think that's why putting the word out there and claiming it as your focus or goal is important... it really does stay with you.}

well, though i am not yet joined up with any online one little word groups, i officially start my one word {quiet} photos and posts today. actually, i had used a different photo to start things off, but it's inside the draft of another post... a post that will be a sort of proclamation of all the ways i will seek out quiet and sift out the noise this year. but i had to stop that post, because it was actually too painful to write.

even writing this one is painful in some ways. i guess one would not typically think the word quiet comes with a connotation of pain. but for me, it does in part... mostly because i have to quiet {or make a stand for quietness} some of the things in my life that are a source of noise and distraction, but also a source of pain. so writing about it as i go into 2012 is difficult too.

but it is a part of what i strongly desire to achieve... a simple quiet that resembles the words on my words i aspire to page... a quiet that is public when i'm okay for it to be and private when i need for it to be.

today, that quiet is in these old photos... i took them long ago with an old camera. but i gave them a new life today. and i found quietness in them that spoke as softly to my eyes as the word itself does to my soul.

i've already begun.  i made turkey soup-stock tonight after mr. b and isaac went to bed. it was quiet. there were tears, because i see the road ahead. but other than that, there was no room for thoughts... nor for questions, or wondering, or conclusion. i needed it to be quiet. i needed it to be just me... just making turkey stock for soup. nothing more. so that is what it was.

and it sounds odd, i know.... but that is very much a symbolic picture of what my year will be. that might not make much sense to many. but i know that as i continue to write, photograph and walk on this quiet journey, it will all unfold.

it's beginning to get very quiet inside this year. i've found a good place to stop and stay a while.