time travel

everything in our lives seems to be in limbo right now. and if not in limbo, then dissolved. if not either of those, then uncertain. it's not a great place to be. but it's not the worst, either.

still camera-less, i find myself frustrated that i cannot just grab my camera at any time and get pictures of isaac. or of mr. b helping me paint the giant wall of paneling in the living room. or of the emerging buds on the trees just outside our living room window.

so instead, i dig around in archived folders for gems that i'd forgotten about. photos i honestly didn't even realize i had.

i don't spend much time on the computer these days. funny how that camera was the link between me and my computer. without it, i have less reason to get on here. maybe that's not quite true. maybe it's just less incentive. like i said a few posts back, i speak in pictures... and listen too. getting on the computer is just a painful reminder that i don't have use of my camera, so i've stayed away from it.

this is a blessing when i look at it the right way. i've accomplished things around the house that i had been putting off pre-death-of-a-camera.

oh, that camera... that little hunk of plastic that has me wrapped around it's little shutter. i found out it could cost up to $300 or more to fix my camera. {and also found out it is, in fact, the body, and not the lens.} the shutter actuations count just over 84,000. not really a big surprise, knowing how many photos i take... just of isaac alone. the camera shop i spoke with said nikon estimates an average of 50,000 actuations for the d40 before it goes bad, so i guess i got lucky to get as far as i did.

i just can't find the sense in pouring money into a camera that has reached its life expectancy only to have it break down again, you know? but also can't see buying another entry-level dslr like the one i have, as i planned to eventually upgrade from the current camera i have to something better in hopes of getting more serious about my photography business.

and that brings me to my feeling stuck conundrum. i don't have the money to upgrade. well, don't really even have the money to repair... we would likely have to charge it. but for an upgrade? yikes. we really don't want to be incurring debt when we have recently worked so hard to pay it off. and even if i find a good deal on one, it wouldn't feel like a good deal by the time we were done paying interest on the camera because it was purchased on a card.

sigh. what to do.

meanwhile, i sit here in frustation, longing to pick up my camera to snap something i see {which is often with this little character we live with}.

to mask my frustration, i pretend that my camera still works, but i set it down intentionally out of discipline to work on things that have been shoved aside for so long.

one of those shoved-off-the-to-do-list items i am currently working on?... FINALLY going through my 2009 florida photos to make an album. yes... you heard me right... 2009. it seems silly 'cause we have taken a trips to florida since then {in 2010 and 2012} on which i took better pics with a better camera... so why should i bother with such an old set?

well, it sort of bothered me that i never got around to sorting and processing them all. actually, i had processed several shortly after we got home from the trip for the first of what was to be many posts in a series. but i didn't finish. we went to florida again the following year. i got pregnant just months later. had a baby. went to florida again. lost interest in silly 2009 photos. yada yada yada. {oh, and lest any of you reading think "well, how can you reconcile mentioning financial struggles while writing about vacationing to florida in the same post?"... these are trips to florida courtesy of my generous parents-in-law who graciously open their small condo to us.}

anyway, lately i've been spending a bit of time in the folders... and so glad i am. i have found some images in there that i like quite a bit! knowing i took them with an old {non-dslr} point-n-shoot canon sort of restored my faith in myself as a photographer. they aren't fancy photos. but there are some good ones in there, which reminded me that it's not nice cameras that makes a photographer good. it's the photographer. and the eye the photographer has. my husband and i were talking about this a bit the other day. i've been told i have an eye when people come to know my photography. and i feel like i do, too {or hope so, anyway}. i just need to become trained in some skills and knowing my camera the best i can so as to meet that eye... and hopefully then i'll be creating exactly what i'd be beyond happy to create.

gosh... did not intend to ramble today. just getting somethings off my chest, i guess. anyway, i'm looking forward to creating some posts {or albums} of my 2009 florida photos. though we traveled there again the next year and three years later {which is the trip the above photos are from}, it was not the same dynamic... not even the same people. i'm traveling back in time to fill up this almost void-of-time stretch of not having a camera i'm going through now... laid back florida style. will be posting some other things from the archives, too.

but i'm not sure it'll be too soon. other things have risen... namely, us three are hangin' out enjoying one of the few things we feel is constant, consistent and certain right now... each other.

we're dancing in a circle of three in the middle of our kitchen to the bee jees' hit, stayin' alive, while we wait for dinner to finish. and making trips to the library to find brand new adventures in books we've never even heard of. and painting rooms while we play with our cars and watch every dvd about trains we can get our hands on. okay... those last two are isaac, and that first... well, that's just mr. b and me. although, we do give isaac a "fake" paint brush to help us with from time to time. but the point is, we're all together. inseparable. i love that word.

since we are all enjoying each other so much these days {maybe because i'm a little more present without a camera??... no comments from the peanut gallery, mr. b!}, i thought i'd use these photos of us for my post. 

for that, and for the fact that we are all three dreaming of getting down to the sunshine state together at some point!! hopefully soon!

i never thought of myself as one of those family portrait kind of people... but then i started a family. now i think it's going to be a tradition of ours.

i had not planned on posting this photo {taken on the beach in florida last april}, but tonight i saw a family photo link-up post on a cloth diapering blog that i subscribed to, and i wanted to link up with our family photo there... so i needed a place to link up to, and this post will be it! 

we've had a more recent family picture {one of my favorites} taken by my mom on mother's day. but this one was a little more planned, and when i set the camera up to have it shot, i had a framed print or hanging canvas print for our home in mind.

here is the one i would have liked to use {except as a sepia like the above shot}...

especially since isaac is looking at the camera here. but our legs are cut off in it and isaac's got his finger in front of his mouth, so i decided that the other one would be better for it.

anyway... if you read a couple posts back, you might remember me saying that i was working on some small projects around the house. this was {still is} one of them. i actually had originally intended to some sort of d.i.y. with it. i had heard about an idea of transferring photos to pieces of wood, and i really wanted to try it with this photo. someone gave me this link that shows a video on how easy it is to make one. it also provides a link to a detailed step-by-step tutorial on how to do the transfer. this was in response to a request i posted on facebook for suggestions and ideas, saying that i wanted to try this process out to save on the cost of ordering a print from one of the photo canvas companies.

after having asked about it on facebook, a former co-worker of mr. b's and mine wrote to tell me that the company he now works for can and does print photos on canvas for a very, very good price {even lower than costco} and that he'd be happy to print mine.

so i had to take him up on his very generous offer. the only thing is, now i will have to have the canvas stretched/attached onto a frame, as i am only buying the flat printed canvas. by the time i pay for shipping costs to have the canvas mailed and the framing, it might turn out to be what i would have paid at costco or some other place like that... although, i hope not. we'll see.


regardless, i really wanted to have it hanging in our home... this photo {which i am very happy with} that shows us all together and reflects how grateful and content we are to be a family... and one that was taken before isaac turned a year old. that was important to me, because i'd really like to have a nice family portrait taken during each year of his life, so i am happy to know we did not miss out on his first year.

anyway, i'll be sure to post again after it arrives and gets framed and hung, so you can see how it turned out.

until then, it will be here for me to view and to make me smile. and as long as it's here, i figured i would link-up to autumn's family photo link-up.

by the way {in case i ever do try it}, has anyone else every transferred one of their photos to a sheet/block of wood yourself? i'd love to know how it turned out!

texture tuesday {beach babe}

oh, my! he's hardly a babe anymore, is he? in just over a month, he'll be one year old! my little baby is growing up. {*frown* *sniffle* *sniffle*} 

how did that happen? i truly can't fathom it. really. others may think it's just an expression when i say it seems like i just brought him home from the hospital. but it's not. it really does feel that way. if his first year was a blur... gosh, what will the next seventeen be like? and if the years seem to go by faster the older we get {and i'm already forty}, i best pay attention. if i blink, he might have graduated and moved out to college when i open my eyes!... eeeek! i don't even want to think about how old i will be then...

well, i have not done texture tuesday in a long while. and i really wanted to post this, one of my favorite florida pics of isaac, from our recent trip. so i'm doing both in one shot! 

{i've used kim klassen's embrace and be still textures. i did not purposely pick those two for any particular reason, but now that i think about it, they are appropriate here... normally, i can not get isaac to sit still for any good close-up shots like this. but because he was in the sand and it is yet too unfamiliarly uncomfortable, he was quite still. he just sort of sat there and observed the texture of it... not quite sure what to think. so there's the "be still" part. and "embrace" is perfect for this, too... because all this photo makes me want to do is run up to him and hug my little man... squeeze him tight!}


speaking of beach babe... i almost forgot about something that happened on the beach that was rather hilarious. i was in the sand with the camera, taking pictures of isaac in mr. b's arms as they waded in shallow waves. isaac was still not yet accustomed to the water and was sort of half whining, half crying while his dad held him. out of the corner of my eye, i saw a jogger approaching from the left, so i lowered my camera to let the runner pass and so as not to have a blurry jogger in any of my shots. this person happened to be a gorgeous, thin, young woman wearing a bikini as she listened to her iPod and ran along the beach where the waves met the sand... right in front of isaac. as soon as this young sprinting beauty caught isaac's eye and attention, he stopped crying... i mean, immediately. and not only that, but his head spun on that neck as quickly as needed to follow her every step and not miss a beat. as soon as she was far enough away for him to care, he started crying again. but man, did that beach babe catch his eye! mr. b. and i laughed so hard afterward. busted, little man! busted!


just had to share that little side note.

anyway, i adore his expression in this photo. it's one i see on his face a lot these days. he has no concept of what wealth, status or popularity mean. he finds delight in pretty much everything... even his tiny green toothbrush. that kind of joy and innocence is the perfect antidote to the cynicism, bitterness or pessimism that can creep into old bones like ours. what a breath of fresh air he is.

i am daily amazed at the changes in my son. it's weird, but sometimes i feel like he'll go down for a nap and wake up a completely different person... like his personality, thinking or motor skills made leaps and bounds forward just in that short hour or two of sleep. often, the changes we witness are gradual. but i kid you not... there are days when those big overnight {or "overnap"} changes happen, too. it's one of the coolest and most surprising discoveries in regards to watching him grow up that i have come to know as a mom raising her first child.

he tests our limits. he makes more messes in less time than i have ever seen made by anyone else {thank God you can't see the condition of my home through your computer monitor!}. he has us pulling our hair out at times.

but our little squirt is, no doubt, without question, hands down, the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us.

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i thought i lost my favorite hat on a florida beach...

but, it turns out, it lost me.

{smart hat! stupid me.}

that's okay. 

the important thing is that i still have my favorite person. 

like my hat, he was with me at all times while on the beach. 

unlike my hat, losing him is not okay and most certainly not an option.

so i didn't.

missing florida.
missing the beach.
missing my hat {in more ways than one}.


holding my baby.

{no... i mean, really holding him... that's not just a sweet written sentiment...
he's actually in my lap, reaching for the shiny, new mouse very insistently while i try to type this...
and whining whenever i keep him away from it. *sigh* 

like i said... missing florida.}

short post.
cinco de mayo cuisine from the local taquiera is calling.


will be back monday for another moving picture link-up.
are ya in?

moving {beach waves and big bird that i don't know the name of} picture monday

i had hoped to get these done by this morning, but both catching up after vacation and getting a new computer yesterday put me behind for getting moving on my moving pictures. and on top of that, none of us have slept well here since we got home. we must be missing florida more than i realized.


anyway, if you were planning to participate with a moving picture, i apologize for the lateness of my post. i do always leave the link-up open all week, so there is always still time.

i should know the name of the bird you see above {do you?}, seeing as every time i go to the gulf, i see these big birds roaming the beach in search of fish to dive-bomb in the shallow waves. they are tall and awkward, but i think they are so cute. i just love their long legs and long necks... giving them so much character and whimsy to their walk. and that little flap of feathers on the back of their heads always gets me... the way it's always flapping around in the wind. too cute.

since the theme for this week is officially shapes {though, you are welcome to post any moving picture with any theme}, i thought i would add this moving picture in addition today...

our first night and first full day there, it rained. but by early evening of the first day, the rain stopped and gave way to a beautiful, dramatic cloud-filled sky. it was now nice enough to take a stroll on the beach and get some photos {though still quite cool}.


i could sit and watch waves wash ashore on the ocean all day long... i love the different shapes that the waves make as they tide in and out, leaving a trail of foam behind. it's interesting to watch how the shapes of each one interplay with each other.


i'm not in love with my photography for either animated gif this week. but i did take these outside at times when i could not see the lcd screen on my camera very well, so i had no idea if the photos were turning out right. {that's my excuse, and i'm stickin' to it! *wink*}

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have you a moving picture today that you would like to link up with? just follow the steps below. i would love to see what you've done if you made one for this week... shapes or no shapes!

first, grab the button below{by copying and pasting the code that is in the box below the flying birds gif}and add it to the html of your moving picture postso that you can link back to the party here from your blog.
<center><a href="http://itsjusthowiseethings.blogspot.com/search/label/moving%20pictures%20link-up"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvF0xyJyhyphenhyphenVUMDHMy46d7YMcdYeAz1iyDGReI-DbtV-D47LrmzT__0_vJ-m729TX7Ln722GWySkClmZldqQpWjxezDi0R1dsPuc5LL6xheOZ0c3e1p4dBUdUcQqRLpC7Zs79KYGRQYKf4/s1600/moving-pictures-button_f.gif" /></a></center>
then link up to your post here, by adding your link at the end of this post in inlinkz.
and finally, have fun!
{never made and animated gif and wanna know how?go here for a photoshop tutorial.or go here for an elements tutorial.}
{{NOTE for first-time participants: after you submit your entry and inlinkz takes you to the page where you can grab an image from your post for the thumbnail link, it will let you choose your gif image {and crop it, if you want}, but it will not actually show up, because it does not recognize gifs, so inlinkz uses the little blue cartoon face for the link instead. i'd rather have an image that reflects my blog for my link, so i just choose my profile picture instead.}}

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the moving picture theme for next monday is food. so many possibilities to get creative with there! i'll see you with my next moving picture link-up in a week... and hopefully even sooner with a submission from you this week!

have a great week!

home and happy to be so {s.o.o.c. sunday}

i've not done a s.o.o.c. sunday in ages. {that stands for straight out of camera {{no edits}}, for those of you who are not photography geeks *wink* and are not familiar with that acronym.}

we are back from our trip to florida. we were more exhausted arriving home than we were when we left for the gulf. but we are feeling blessed and full of gratitude for parents {in-laws, in my case} that fly us down to stay with them every couple of years. it's something we would not otherwise be able to do... at least not frequently. so, though we are tired and feel like we are just now picking ourselves up from a long week, we are so thankful to have spent time with family and to have had true fellowship mixed with some play. 

when we arrived home, little isaac sat on the carpet in the living room and looked around for several seconds before moving in any direction. he reached out to feel the carpet slowly, almost as if to test it. it was the funniest thing. it was like he was re-orienting himself to his old surroundings after having spent a week sitting, standing and cruising on sand, sidewalks or the shiny terra-cotta-colored tiles of my in-laws' condo. he scanned the room, and when it was all alright in his mind again, he was off to play with his old toys... toys that must have seemed like distant memories to one so small after being away that long.

speaking of home... it's unspeakably nice to be back. in many ways, things are so much better where we just came from. the weather is better. the pace of the people is better. the scenic views are better. my mother-in-law's gorgeous decorating is better {she used to be an interior designer}. the food was better. the amount of time to spend with those particular relatives was better {in that it existed, where here it does not}.

but even with all that, there's nothing like home... and familiarity... and the comfort of your own day-to-day space.

so i am happy to be back. missing them {more on "them" later}. but happy to be home.

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well, this will very likely be my last post published on this blog from this computer. we are leaving now to go purchase a new one. if you have been reading here for a while, you will know how much having prehistoric used or hand-me-down macs {with ancient versions of software} has been a source of frustration for me... for years! it placed several limitations on me creatively, especially from the standpoint of starting any kind of real design or photography business. {that's not an excuse... just the truth.}

i wish i could say that i was always patient when waiting for the opportunity to buy my first-ever brand-spankin'-new computer. i wasn't. but i can say this... it has taught me patience and contentment on a level that i would never have learned otherwise {with the exception of patiently waiting to conceive and give birth to children, but that is so different, because i lost hope where that was concerned... and babies are... well, in a whole different league than computers}.

but words can't describe the feeling i have inside when i think about finally buying a computer and how many doors it might open for me, as it is a resource i have longed for and needed for a very long time.

it's why i chose this photo for today. i took it on the beach in florida. you can't quite see the end of the ledge, but you can see it's there. similarly, i did not know when i would get one, but i knew {sometimes in patience and sometimes not} that i would get a good computer some day. before last week, this day was not clearly seen looking ahead. but it's here now. and i couldn't see it in better detail if i tried! *broad smile* 

no material thing in life can make you happy or bring you joy if you can't know happiness and joy without it. but it sure can make you more joyful when you do get it! i'm one who believes we should have some of the things we long for if they are good things, even if they are purely material. so, i am excited and thankful to no end for this blessing! it did not come without sacrifice as well as generosity. and for that, i am all the more grateful!

when the type of job i need that would suit our family situation is not available, i have no choice but to resort to trying my hand at being self-employed. but that is a difficult thing to start up without the necessary things to start. this new computer is one of those things... the most important thing. so i am not just happy. i am relieved!

when i return here to post again {hopefully with my florida pics}, it will be from a new computer... Lord willing.

me and my boys... cast away

 

day one. 

too late, too windy and too chilly to check out the beach. but that's okay. hangin' out on the lanai at tree-top level is just as much fun. especially when you are listening to some good tunes... from ennio moricone's film scores played by yo yo ma to the kingston trio to led zeplin and everything good in between. especially when ocean breezes play the palm leaves like an instrument, sending sweet sounds through the screens into our terra-cotta space. especially when there's good food, good drinks and good company to enjoy all of it with.

especially when your little guy is having fun and has handled the traveling like a trooper. especially when your heart is there, because home is where the heart is... so, though far from home, still very much at home.

long, long, long day! a good night's sleep with the alarm switched off was in order. rest would be needed for our exciting day ahead.

 

day two.

off to the beach!... isaac's first beach experience. and what a fine place to begin his beach-going days! 

i was thinking... it has to be so wild for a ten-month-old to see such vastness having never seen anything remotely like it before. the sounds. the wind. the openness. i could see it in his face... pure wonder and utter delight.

it was a short visit to the beach... just to see the sun set. but the sunset was not to be seen... rather clouds covering what was probably a fiery display. rain prevented us from spending the day in the sand. so that adventure would have to be our day three.

 

day three.

cloudy again. and very, very windy. can you tell by the waves? having not yet played in the sand by day three is just wrong, though. so to the beach we went anyway... with backs to the wind so as not to get sand in our eyes {except for when i needed to get some photos, that is... and then, instead of eyes getting blasted, it was my camera lens}.

 

isaac did like the sand... i will say that. but here is where i have to be honest and point out that vacationing by the beach with a ten-month-old is not at all what we envisioned... not the glamorous, picture-perfect time we thought we'd have. it is fun in some ways. but it's difficult and taxing, too. he's just not at an age where he appreciates the excitement of it all. he seems either quite overwhelmed or very underwhelmed. beaches and pools and airplanes and grandparents' condo are all just so new to him... beyond his comprehension.

so, what might appear to be ideal in pictures {'cause that's what we do, right?... we post the best photos} is really just a very tiring production and is nothing like the relaxing, sweet, fun time one thinks they are in for... unless you are the ten-month-old and you are floating in a little boat in the pool, being toted around by your dad. then, life is good! *wink* 

{mr. b. thought he looks like a little cast-away washed up on shore here.
it was very sweet to watch him drift off...
which took all of three minutes once we got him in there.}

don't get me wrong. isaac is having a wonderful time. i think it's pretty obvious in the photos above. he's happy, sleeping well in an unfamiliar environment, enjoying his grand-dada and grand-mama, eating like a rock star as usual, and taking it all in with a fine disposition. i think the part that seems more unglamorous than anything else is my outlook. i've never taken a vacay with him before... or with any children. it seems selfish to say, but vacationing with a little one who is very active and gets into everything {my in-laws have SOOOO many knick-knacks around} is not really a vacation at all. it's just doing what i do normally, but in a slightly sunnier and for-the-most-part warmer place. but at least i have those things... the sun and the warmth {for which i am grateful!}. and at least we're doing it all with the ones we love... the ones we rarely get to see.

still, i have to admit. i'm P.O.O.P.E.D!

i did not expect to blog while vacationing. i did not know how much access i would have to a computer. and i really didn't think i could do anything with my photos, because my father-in-law's laptop does not have photoshop. but i decided to give pic monkey a try while my baby boy is napping {in the pack-n-play, not the pool *wink*}. that would be the reason for the hodge-podge look of my photos... i had to try all the different processing tricks up their sleeves over at pic monkey. it's a pretty cool site! if you don't have photoshop, you should try it... especially now that picnik is a thing of the past.

anyway, this post is turning into a long one, and i truly only intended to pop in and post a few pics. i guess i'm finding blogging to be my little vacation from vacation. and on a day where it's too cold to swim at the pool or the ocean, that works out well.

it is supposed to warm up by tuesday, so i'm sure i will be back to vacationing... from home and blogging. and perhaps by then we will be much more in a groove of familiarity that will make things feel a little more restful and relaxed.

so here we are...

day four.

i'm grateful that the little guy is not so out of sorts that it would keep him from eating or sleeping as well he does at home. i've got slightly pink shoulders from my short time in the sun. i'm wrapping up this post. i'm looking forward to a dinner of tilapia, potatoes and green beans. i'm signing out to take a little snooze before the little squirt wakes up.

...and last, but not least, i'm hoping your week is off to a great start!